24 | October | 2008 | Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid

Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

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BOOMBASTIC BLUEBERRY CRISP

October 24, 2008

: If this doesn’t get you laid, you might consider a monastery.

Nothing will make your date say, “I’m going to bang them for making the extra effort,” like a delicious dessert to cap off an awesome meal. This recipe has morphed over the years and is always deal closer. Plus you usually have leftovers for those straight out of the fridge with a spoon after marathon sex moments.

Ingredients:
1. 3 apples peeled and sliced thinly like potato chips
2. 1 package frozen blueberries (fresh are always better)
3. 1/2 cup of oats
4. 1/2 cup of brown sugar
5. 1/2 a stick of butter

Step 1
Preheat oven to 375 degree. Grease a casserole dish or baking pan with butter. Then lay out the apple slices and berries evenly through the pan. Sprinkle cinnamon for extra flavor.

Step 2
On low heat, melt the butter in a saucepan. Throw in the brown sugar and stir until it becomes the consistency of gooey molasses. Add the oats and stir so the oats begin to cook and expand.

Step 3
Cover the apple/berry mix with the brown-sugary oats so you have a think crust over the entire dish.

Step 4
Bake in the oven for 45 minutes until the apples/berry appear soft and the crust is a golden brown. Remove from the oven and allow it to cool. Serve with ice cream if things get too steamy.

Variations:
• You can substitute the fruits such as mangoes, bananas, kiwis, but never EVER use orange!

Leave a Comment » | RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: a la mode, apple, blueberry, brown betty, brown sugar, crisp, delicious, dessert, ice cream, oats, SEDUCTION, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang

HORIZONTAL MAMBO MANGO SALSA

October 24, 2008

: Mambo mango cook to bango

Regular salsa shouts out “yum!” but mango salsa says you’re both, “classy and well-endowed (with ability to cook).” This little condiments can take the mundane like a healthy (boring) baked chicken and make it magical. You can assure that anorexic supermodel that the calories are minimal. Besides, you’ll burn through those calories soon enough, you sex machine.

Ingredients:
1. 1 mango roughly chopped and depitted
2. 1 tomato roughly chopped
3. 1 handful of cilantro roughly chopped, stems removed
4. 1 green onion roughly chopped
5. ½ a lime
6. 1 jalapeño, deveined and deseeded, and roughly chopped

Step 1
Throw the chunks of mango, tomato, cilantro, green onion and jalapeno into a bowl and mix like a champ. Squeeze the lime.

Step 2
Mix vigorously so the ingredients are battered around like a 50’s housewife. Serve with chips, Mexican food, salad, or over fish/chicken.

4 Comments | FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES | Tagged: appetizer, chips, cilantro, healthy, jalepeno, lime, mango, mexican, salsa, SEDUCTION, spicy, tomato, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang

FLAT ON YOUR BACK FLATBREAD PIZZA

October 24, 2008

Flatbread pizza + wine = boom-chicka-wa-wa

This recipe has been an old stand that never fails to make panties drop. It also works great for parties because it’s fast, simple, aesthetically pleasing, low in carbs, and makes you look like America’s Next Top Chef. For some reason, this deceivingly simple dish gets me more props than a high school drama student. You can throw almost any combination of cheeses, meats and veggies to make your own masterpiece, but below is a classic crowd pleaser.

Ingredients:
1. 1 Lavash flatbread
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. 1 handful of spinach
4. 1 half a red pepper sliced thinly
5. ½ a chicken sausage link sliced thinly
6. 1 handful of mozzarella cheese
7. Thin slices of brie (1/4 of a triangle of brie)

Step 1
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Drizzle olive oil over the lavash and spread it around evenly.

Step 2
Place the veggies, meat and cheese over the lavash. It’s best to do veggies first, meat second and cheese last to hold your ingredient down. Like a pizza crust, make sure to leave some room around the edges so it’s easy to hold onto.

Step 3
Place pizza in the oven and bake for about ten minutes. The goal is to have the lavash crust golden brown.

Step 4
Remove from oven and chop into 6-8 pieces. One cut long ways and either two or three cuts short ways then serve with a bottle of wine. Go get em, tiger!

Variations:
• Fig jam, brie, thin pear slices, candied walnuts
• Beets, goat cheese, artichoke hearts

Leave a Comment » | FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES | Tagged: appetizer, brie, cheese, fast, flatbread, italian, lavash, mozarella, pizza, sausage, SEDUCTION, spinach, vegetables | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang

SIMPLY SEXY SALSA

October 24, 2008

Simple enough so you can figure out how to get that damn bra off.

If only seduction was as simple as making salsa. But simplicity is the root of innovation so go with it. Salsa with chips can be a nice light meal or compliments countless dishes. Over fish, tacos, eggs, you name it. Be sure to tell your date you made it from only the finest ingredients, even if you bought them off a truck.

Ingredients:
1. 2 tomatoes roughly chopped
2. 1 green onion roughly chopped
3. 1 handful of cilantro roughly chopped, stems removed
4. 1 jalapeño, deveined and deseeded, and roughly chopped
5. ½ a lime
6. Salt to taste