Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Put down the crackberry. Try the Chipotle Blackberry.

So now you’re down to the wire now.  You blew all your cash on gifts for the family and forgot about that certain someone who’s been keeping your bed warm at night. Whoops! Soon you will be going your separate ways giving each of you time to think and reflect.  This could be a very bad thing if you leave on a inconsiderate cheapskate note.  Giving them nothing likely will result in not getting some for a while if not ever.  Considering the holiday rush at the stores for anything worth a damn, why not skip all that noise?  Save time and money by getting DIY with some jarring, player.  HOLY BLACKBERRY CHIPOTLE SAUCE offers an aphrodisiac double threat with the chipotle chili kick and blackberry antioxidant money shot.  It’s spicy, it’s sweet, it’s versatile.  Spread it on a sandwich, marinate meat and fish and grill, turn it into a sexy salad dressing with some vinegar.  Hand all your special someones a jar to remember you by, with luck a part of you will be in their mouth even months later (if you pressure seal the jars).  Let jarring begin!

Ingredients (yields approx 6 jars):
1. 36 ounces of blackberries (6x 6 OZ. containers or frozen)
2. 1/3 cup of red wine vinegar
3. 1 table spoon of adobo sauce **
4. 1 OZ. packet of pectin
5. 2 cups of white sugar
6. 1 cup of honey
7. 1 chipotle chile pulverized (about 1 tablespoon)
8. 3 garlic cloves minced
** found in any Mexican bodega and most supermarkets – there are also cans of chipotle chiles in adobo sauce – use 2 tablespoons

Step 1
Wash the blackberries thoroughly and then blend them and set aside.  Next blend together the garlic cloves, chipotle chiles, adobo sauce and red wine vinegar and set aside.  Blend the powdered pectin with ½ cup of the sugar to avoid clumping.

Step 2
Heat a large stockpot up on medium-high heat.  Pour in the pureed blackberries, pectin/sugar blend and chipotle sauce and bring to a roaring boil, mixing thoroughly.  Next add the remaining sugar and honey and boil once more. 

Step 3   (skip this step if you plan to eat right away)
Get two deep stockpots full of water boiling.  Place the jars and lids you plan to fill into one of these pots and boil them for 5-10 minutes.  This will sterilize the jars and prevent the jars from cracking when you add the sauce.  When ready, remove the jars with tongs and gloves and set close to the sauce pot.  Use a measuring cup, ladle or coffee mug to scoop the sauce into the jars, leaving ¼ inch of room on top.  Set a lid on top and screw them shut using oven mitts.   Use the tongs to drop the filled jars into the other boiling stockpot and boil for another 10 minutes making sure they are submerged at least 2 inches under water (this will process will create a seal that will make the jars keep for months).  Once the jars are ready, remove from the water and set aside someplace safe to cool over night.  Pass them out with reckless abandon assured that you are one generous scoundrel.