Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Forgive the food slur and start to purr

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  This is not a test of the emergency broadcast center.  There will definitely be something wrong with your TV once I unleash the fury.  The Chinese have responded to a white man’s attempt at a classic dish.  UN resolutions were passed, harsh censures and condemnations issued, apologies accepted that rebuked.  Who would have thought me taking a little creative license in the kitchen to try to impress a cute Chinese citizen would cause such international crisis?  Granted, homegirl wasn’t impressed for authentic it was not.  But tasty it was.  Perhaps I can explain that to the lynch mob surrounding my house with pitchforks.  Newsflash, douche bags: my head on a platter won’t smooth things over.  Only the diplomacy in my pants will do.  Now fly me to Beijing!

Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: Beer, no substitute

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tsp sugar
2. 2 tbsp sesame chili oil
3. 1 tbsp soy sauce
4. 1 tsp oyster sauce
5. ½ tsp cornstarch
6. 1 lb chicken breast cut bite-sized (can substitute beef, pork, shrimp, tofu, etc.)
7. ½ yellow bell pepper cut in strips
8. 1 large/2 small eggplants cut bite-sized
9. 1 small handful cilantro chopped coarsely
10. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
11. Red CHILI peppers for heat
12. 1 small handful GINGER finely chopped

Step 1
Heat up 1 tbsp chili sesame oil and sauté the ginger (approx 30 sec).  Add the chicken, brown it with the ginger (approx 2 min) and remove.

Step 2
Heat the remaining oil up and sauté the green onion, cilantro, red chilies, bell pepper and eggplant until they soften (approx 3 min).  Add the soy sauce, oyster sauce, sugar, and cornstarch.  Finally add the chicken and cook it all together (approx 2 min).

Serve up solo or over RICE.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014 at 10:10 am and is filed under aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, Chinese, IT’S ON!-TREES, poultry, RECIPES, spicy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.