Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Embrace the vodka on your plate and in your glass

This Italian mafia recipe will never sleep with the fishes.  This vodka penne is “a friend of mine” because it’s tasty and easy to prepare.  The only thing getting whacked is the pig used to make the prosciutto.  Lucky you.  Be sure to remind your date knows how lucky they are to enjoy this fine dish from the old country.  The vodka flatters the tomatoes and garlic with compliments, plus you can challenge your date to take shots while you cook. Think you can make an easier, tastier vodka penne from scratch?  Forget about it!

Total time: approximately 20 minutes
Projected cost: $10
Drinking Buddy: wine or more wine

Ingredients:
1. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
2. 1 pound of dry penne
3. ¼ cup of vodka
4. 1 28-ounce can of crushed tomatoes
5. ½ cup of heavy cream
6. 1 teaspoon of salt
7. 2 ounces of prosciutto
8. 1 tablespoon of crushed red pepper flakes
9. Parmesan
10. 3 cloves of garlic
11. 1 handful of chopped parsley

Step 1
Boil a big pot full of water on high heat (while you wait, move onto next steps).  Pour in the contents of the dry penne, stirring occasional and cook al dente.  Once done, run under cold water to wash out excess starch.

Step 2
Slice the garlic into thin shards (a la Goodfellas).  Pull the prosciutto apart.  Heat the oil on medium heat and sauté the garlic until in a pan until it browns.  Toss in the prosciutto and cook through (approx 2 minutes).
Step 3
Puree the crushed tomatoes in the blender if desired.  Heat up the tomatoes in a separate pot and toss in the crushed red pepper flakes. 

Step 4
Dump in the prosciutto and garlic into the tomatoes, stir in, and cook for 1 minute.  Add the heavy cream, stir, and cook for 1 minute.  Pour in the vodka, stir, and cook two minutes.  Add the desired amount of salt and mix in the parsley.  Grate some Parmesan.

Step 5
Toss the cooked penne into the sauce and mix thoroughly, heating it all through.  Throw the completed product on plates, crown with Parmesan and serve with some garlic bread and tons of vino.