Culinary seduction is a delicate dance. One can never seem too eager or lackadaisical. Walk the tightrope. It’s all about putting as much passion into your cooking as you do into your banging. Like in the sack, you want them begging for more of your food. This can yield repeat visits from a sex kitten or wild stallion. They might just tell their friends about the hottest night of their adult life, your future CTB candidates. There is no better publicity than an outstanding performance. Hence, this fine dish. It all started while I was house-sitting a family friend’s home in Key West. I took a booze cruise along the Florida Bay where I met a college girl staying with her eccentric aunt. We laughed and drank and were both ravenous when we stepped off the SS Drunken Fools. I bought freshly shucked jumbo scallops from a fisherman on the docks and lured her to my abode with promises of the “best meal ever”. When I got to the pad I found a fridge loaded with only condiments and frozen bacon in the freezer. Desperation leads to innovation and in this case fornication. The bacon was crisp, the scallops succulent, the flavor in full effect. After eating my food, this college girl was down for just about anything. She did in fact beg for more and more and more. Only a cold-hearted bastard would deny her.
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $15
Drinking Buddy: Beer, white wine, or champagne
Ingredients (for 2):
1. 1 tablespoon of mayonnaise
2. ½ teaspoon of salt
3. ½ teaspoon of crushed red pepper
4. ½ a lemon worth of juice
5. 6 bacon strips (can use turkey or veggie bacon)
6. 6 toothpicks
7. 2 garlic cloves chopped finely
8. 1 small handful of minced sun dried tomatoes
9. 6 jumbo sea scallops
Create the scallop coating by mixing up the garlic, sun dried tomato, lemon juice, mayonnaise, salt and red pepper flakes in a bowl. Toss the scallops so they are coated evenly.
Wrap each coated scallop with a strip of bacon and secure the ends by piercing a toothpick through. Place all bacon wrapped scallops on a small baking pan. Top each of them with half the remaining coating and sprinkle a little extra salt.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Throw the baking pan in the oven and bake until the coating browns (approximately 15 minutes). Flip them onto their other side, add the remaining coating, and bake until that side browns (approx 10 minutes). Serve three to a plate and pour the juice remaining in the pan evenly over the scallops.
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