I’m sure someone has told you at some point in your life to “Get Stuffed” or something like that in one language or another. In essence they are telling you to get banged, which in some ways is a rather considerate suggestion. We all could do with a little more stuffing. Everyone would be a whole lot nicer without sexual frustration inspiring dickishness to the masses. It very well could be the solution to terrorism, the recession and what really happened to the dinosaurs. Attention Nobel Foundation: Please send the peace prize directly to my underground lab. In celebration, let’s stuffed some eggplant with our favorite meat and recognize that even in turbulent times, we still need to enjoy life. Cook To Bang, making the world a better-fed and sexier place.
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $12
Drinking Buddy: Chinese Beer
Ingredients (for two):
1. 1 tablespoon of soy sauce
2. 1 tablespoon of oyster sauce
3. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
4. 2 chicken breasts or thighs (can substitute with beef, pork or tofu)
5. 1 small length of GINGER
6. 1 large handful of cashews
7. 1 large eggplant
8. 1 orange or red bell pepper cut into bite-sized strips
9. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
10. 2 cloves of garlic chopped finely
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F then prepare the ingredients. Cut the eggplant in half length-wise, scoop out the eggplant meat gently with a spoon, leaving the skin intact and chop the meat coarsely. Mince the chicken with a large sharp knife or butchers knife. Peel the ginger then chop it finely.
First brown the chicken. Add ½ a tablespoon of olive oil to a pan on medium heat. Throw in the ginger, then garlic and cook them solo until they begin to brown (approx 1 minute). Finally toss in the minced chicken in and cook them in the garlic and ginger until the meat goes grayish-white (approx 3 minutes). Set aside.
Pour the other ½ tablespoon into the pan and immediately toss in the green onions and bell peppers and stir-fry until they soften (approx 2 minutes). Throw in the eggplant meat and smother it in the oyster sauce and cook until the eggplant becomes mushy (approx 2 minutes). Toss in the chicken and throw in the soy sauce and cashew nuts and meld the flavors (approx 2 minutes).
Scoop the stuffing evenly between the two hollow eggplant shells. Throw them in the oven and let it all heat through (approx 10 minutes). Serve up one stuffed eggplant on each plate and then turn up the Al Green:
“I’m so tired of being alone,
I’m so tired of on-my-own,
Won’t you help me girl,
When I COOK TO BANG you?”