GO NUTS COCONUT CURRY

December 10, 2008

Curry some favor with these spicy flavors

Curry some favor with these spicy flavors

This Thai curry dish is like a hot night of indiscretion in the steamy city of Bangkok. That’s where I first had a dish at a small restaurant right off of PatPong 2 before witnessing the seedier side of Southeast Asia.  So delicious and decadent. Curry can be a little dangerous and on the edge, like watching a tiger cage fight while telling the lady boys that you are not interested in boom boom tonight. Welcome to the spicy side of COOK TO BANG.  You will instantly become the bad boy or girl that your date’s parents warned them about.  They will sweat before you even touch them.  If you have that kind of effect with your food, your date can only assume that the night will only get steamier.  Yes, indeedy.  So relax and enjoy the happy ending.

Total time: approximately 35-45 minutes

Projected cost for ingredients: $10

Drinking buddy: Beer, Thai or Indian

coconut-curry-prepIngredients:
1. 1 tablespoon of flour
2. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
3. 1 cup of coconut milk
4. 2 teaspoons of curry paste (1 teaspoon of curry powder)
5. 1 teaspoon of oyster sauce
6. 1 tablespoon of rice vinegar
7. 1 tablespoon of soy sauce
8. 1 large eggplant cut into bite-sized pieces
9. 1 handful of mushrooms cut
10. 1 pound of chicken cut in bite-sized pieces
11. ½ a lemon
12. Meat of 1 mango sliced and diced
13. 1 yellow bell pepper cut into bite-sized pieces
14. 1 handful of cilantro
15. 4 green onion chopped coarsely
16. 3 garlic cloves minced

Step 1
Mix the cilantro, oyster sauce, curry paste, coconut milk and flour in a bowl.  Stir vigorously like you’re still in Jr. High until the curry sauce becomes a pinkish-orange.  Set aside.coconut-curry-curry-prep

Step 2 (Skip this step if you want to make it vegetarian)
Marinate the chicken in the rice vinegar, soy sauce and lemon.  After 15 minutes, use 1 tablespoon of olive oil and cook the chicken until the meat turns white. Set aside.
coconut-curry-curry-chicken
Step 3
On high heat, use the remaining and sauté the garlic and green onions.  After a minute add the mango and cook it down.  Throw in all the remaining vegetables except the eggplant and cook for another two minutes until the veggies soften.  Now add the eggplant and cook until they soften and absorb the mango/garlic.coconut-curry-veggies

Step 4
Pour the curry sauce over the veggies and stir thoroughly, making sure the eggplant has softened considerably.  Toss in the chicken and mix it all together with the veggies and curry sauce.  Cook another minute to ensure the flavors all absorb before serving over rice with some beer.
coconut-curry-curry-chicken1

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SU-SWEATY BALLS-O-YAY! (spaghetti bolognese)

December 8, 2008
This hearty Italian classic will make anyone sing falsetto.  Ave Maria, baby!
This hearty Italian classic will make anyone sing falsetto. Ave Maria, baby!

“Ave Maria!” you sing from the plaza of the Italian village.  Your intended conquest comes out onto the balcony to gaze down at the lust in your eyes.  You continue with your falsetto, beckoning your lovely to join you for a magnificent meal that will knock their socks and knickers off.  They will smell the slow cooked perfection of this hearty, meaty dish from the “old country” and naturally follow you like a lemming on its way to an orgy.  This is the power of great Italian food.  The Italians pay such keen attention to the details whether it’s their fine tailored clothes or renowned culinary creations. Why should you treat the food any differently?   You may or may not be Italian, but that doesn’t mean you should boil spaghetti and cover it with sauce from a jar.  Cooking without passion is like banging without an orgasm.  There is really no point.  Don’t waste your date’s time or your charm on forgettable food.  This dish is guaranteed to spice up your night.  COOK TO BANG is not responsible should your lover scream aloud, “Mama Mia!”

Total time: approximately 1-3 hours depending on level of perfection desired

Projected cost for ingredients: $15 (still cheaper than a restaurant, many ingredients will last many more meals, and there will be leftovers)

bolognaise-prepIngredients:
1. ½ cup of red wine
2. 1 tablespoon of salt
3. 1 28oz. can of crushed tomatoes
4. 1 tablespoon of crushed red pepper flakes
5. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
6. ½ cup of heavy cream (optional)
7. 1 pound of ground beef or turkey
8. 2 pork or chicken sausage links chopped into bite-sized pieces
9. Parmesan cheese
10. 2 handfuls of thinly sliced mushrooms
11. 2 carrots peels and shredded
12. 5 celery stalks chopped
13. 1 red onion minced
14. 1 pound pack of spaghetti
15. 5 garlic cloves minced

Step 1
Turn the stove on to medium heat.  Heat the olive oil in a large stockpot and throw in the garlic and onions and cook until they are translucent.  Throw in the mushrooms, carrots and celery and cook the veggies down, adding the crushed red pepper flakes for spice (adjust to your preference: ½ tablespoon = snore, 2 tablespoons = hot damn!).
bolognaise-veggies
Step 2
Add the ground meat and sausage to the stockpot, mix it up with the veggies and cook until the meat turns grey.  Pour in the red wine and cook until the liquid dissolves.
bolognaise-meat
Step 3
Boil water in a separate pot and cook the spaghetti al dente.
bolognaise-pasta
Step 4
Pour the crushed tomatoes into the stockpot with the veggies and meat and mix together thoroughly.  Bring it all to a boil, then turn the heat down to its lowest setting and cook for 1-2 hours, occasionally stirring or adding water when sauce becomes too thick.  If desired, stir in the heavy cream a few minutes before you are ready to eat and allow the sauce to thicken.  Now serve the sauce over spaghetti with garlic bread and a bottle or red wine.  Sing falsetto as you present the food if possible.
bolognaise-saucybolognaise-served-2

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