GO NUTS COCONUT CURRY

December 10, 2008

Curry some favor with these spicy flavors

Curry some favor with these spicy flavors

This Thai curry dish is like a hot night of indiscretion in the steamy city of Bangkok. That’s where I first had a dish at a small restaurant right off of PatPong 2 before witnessing the seedier side of Southeast Asia.  So delicious and decadent. Curry can be a little dangerous and on the edge, like watching a tiger cage fight while telling the lady boys that you are not interested in boom boom tonight. Welcome to the spicy side of COOK TO BANG.  You will instantly become the bad boy or girl that your date’s parents warned them about.  They will sweat before you even touch them.  If you have that kind of effect with your food, your date can only assume that the night will only get steamier.  Yes, indeedy.  So relax and enjoy the happy ending.

Total time: approximately 35-45 minutes

Projected cost for ingredients: $10

Drinking buddy: Beer, Thai or Indian

coconut-curry-prepIngredients:
1. 1 tablespoon of flour
2. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
3. 1 cup of coconut milk
4. 2 teaspoons of curry paste (1 teaspoon of curry powder)
5. 1 teaspoon of oyster sauce
6. 1 tablespoon of rice vinegar
7. 1 tablespoon of soy sauce
8. 1 large eggplant cut into bite-sized pieces
9. 1 handful of mushrooms cut
10. 1 pound of chicken cut in bite-sized pieces
11. ½ a lemon
12. Meat of 1 mango sliced and diced
13. 1 yellow bell pepper cut into bite-sized pieces
14. 1 handful of cilantro
15. 4 green onion chopped coarsely
16. 3 garlic cloves minced

Step 1
Mix the cilantro, oyster sauce, curry paste, coconut milk and flour in a bowl.  Stir vigorously like you’re still in Jr. High until the curry sauce becomes a pinkish-orange.  Set aside.coconut-curry-curry-prep

Step 2 (Skip this step if you want to make it vegetarian)
Marinate the chicken in the rice vinegar, soy sauce and lemon.  After 15 minutes, use 1 tablespoon of olive oil and cook the chicken until the meat turns white. Set aside.
coconut-curry-curry-chicken
Step 3
On high heat, use the remaining and sauté the garlic and green onions.  After a minute add the mango and cook it down.  Throw in all the remaining vegetables except the eggplant and cook for another two minutes until the veggies soften.  Now add the eggplant and cook until they soften and absorb the mango/garlic.coconut-curry-veggies

Step 4
Pour the curry sauce over the veggies and stir thoroughly, making sure the eggplant has softened considerably.  Toss in the chicken and mix it all together with the veggies and curry sauce.  Cook another minute to ensure the flavors all absorb before serving over rice with some beer.
coconut-curry-curry-chicken1

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GROIN GRABBING GRILLED VEGGIES

November 17, 2008
Grab me, grill me, kill me...with grilled veggies

Grab me, grill me, kill me...with grilled veggies

Long before humans had microwave ovens and George Forman grills, we had fire: beautiful, enchanting, burning fire.  Vegetables grilled on an open flame make them fun again.  Why boil these bounties of the earth when you can bring the flavor out with fire and chutzpah?  And your date will no doubt be impressed by your mastery of the elements.  Short of a picky vegan, anybody can eat this fine dish and only a cold-hearted monster could say it sucks.  Your bland backyard barbecue has suddenly been legitimized, thus making you the savior, sort of like Jesus, but tastier.  Be sure to mention that to your conservative date who hasn’t removed their chastity belt yet.  Blaspheme and grilled veggies are sure to win them over.  If that doesn’t work, just use reverse psychology asking What Would Jesus Not Do?  Amen.

grilled-veggies-prepIngredients (for 2):
1. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
2. 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar
3. 1 red bell pepper sliced into long thin strips
4. 1 small eggplant cut into large bite size chunks
5. 1 large portabella mushrooms sliced into long thin strips
6. 1 onion sliced into long thin strips
7. 2 tablespoons of goat cheese

Step 1
Place all the chopped veggies into tin foil and pour olive oil over them.  Cover the oil-doused veggies with a top tinfoil layer and place in the grill on medium heat.  Cook in foil until the veggies soften, then put them directly on the fire until they char slightly.
grilled-veggies-oil-foil
Step 2
Remove the veggies from the grill.  Place them in a pan and drop the goat cheese on top.  Pour the balsamic vinegar over the veggies/goat cheese and mix up thoroughly.  Serve on a plate with your main course, a grilled halibut or turkey burger perhaps.  Just know in your heart that you are a culinary super star and the evening should progress nicely.
grilled-veggies-goat-cheese-balsamic

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GOT IT GOIN’ ON, CHICKEN PARMESAN

November 7, 2008

Parmigiana wanna banga

Parmigiana wanna banga

Sometimes a remake of an old classic is exactly what a franchise needs.  Like Oceans Eleven, the chicken parmesan model is in dire need of a makeover.  You don’t want your date passing out head first into tired deep-fried cheesy malaise.  It’s time to tell your new squeeze to get ready for the next generation of comfort food.  You get all the same flavors, but half the fat and a hundred times the sex appeal. This recipe was born out of a blunder cooking dinner for my new college girlfriend.  I overcooked the eggplant wedges and had to scramble to salvage my game. Cooking the burnt eggplant with tomato sauce, broccoli, grilled chicken breasts and cheese turned the night from “Oh shit!” to “Oh my God!”  The recipe has since become a permanent fixture in my arsenal and not a single complaint yet.

casa-doro-prep Ingredients:
1. 2 skinless chicken breasts
2. ½ lb of broccoli chopped into bite-size pieces
3. 1-2 eggs beaten.
4. 1/2 inch thick round slices of eggplant
5. Enough breadcrumbs to coat each side of the eggplant
6. Olive oil
7. 1 cup of vodka or marinara sauce
8. 3 handful of mozzarella

Step 1
Crack and beat the eggs in a bowl wide and deep enough to dip the eggplant rounds.  Once both sides of the round are covered in egg, cover it in a second bowl with breadcrumbs.  Finally throw the rounds in a nonstick pan with little to no oil on med-high heat.  Cook until both sides are golden brown and set aside.
casa-doro-eggplant1
Step 2
Cook the chicken breasts and broccoli together in a pan on medium heat.  Cook the chicken all the way through and the broccoli is soft.  Pour in the sauce and any spices you are partial to.  Might I suggest some oregano and chili flakes for a spicy kick of lust?
casa-doro-chix-broc-sauce
Step 3
Once the sauce has fully cooked through the broccoli and chicken and has congealed, crown the chicken breast with a breaded eggplant round.  Throw a handful of mozzarella on each chicken/eggplant stack.  Turn off the heat, cover the pan with a lid and cheese do its thing.  Pull the lid and serve solo, with a side of pasta, or on top of your naked body.
casa-doro-finishing-off