MELLOW JELL-O MAKES’EM BELLOW

February 6, 2009
Class up the Jell-O by setting them in citrus rinds

Class up the Jell-O by setting them in citrus rinds

Jell-O shots are a symbol of youthful indiscretion.  The very use of them conjures up memories of high school or college parties.  Turning alcohol into a solid, easily tossable form indicates a clear problem with authority.  Anyone making, serving or slurping these lacks maturity and predictability.  Shame shame, they know your name!  If the kid in you still wants to play hard, read on.  If you are shaking your head with disappointment, might I recommend the AARP website where they offer great tips for keeping your shuffleboard skills tip top during winter.  Fact: Jell-O shots are silly. Fact: Jell-O shots are a crapshoot of adventure.  Part of the fun is seeing how hard they’ll hit you (CTB recommends caution, of course).  Chances are good that you’ll end up drunkenly manhandling someone who will hopefully molest you right back. Both your chins will be stained from gelatin and your brains tainted with booze.  Do Bill Cosby proud and say it loud, “There’s always room for Jell-O!”

jello-shots-prepTotal time: approximately 4 hours
Projected cost: $6 (excluding vodka)
Drinking Buddy: You’re eating your drink, Mm mm!

Ingredients:
1. 1 package of Jell-O, chef’s choice on flavor
2. 2 cups of vodka
3. 2 cups of water
4. Handful of separated mint leaves
5. 6 lemons or oranges to half & hollow out

Step 1
Bring the water to a roaring boil.  Dump in the Jell-O mix and stir until the powder dissolves completely (approx 2 minutes).  Turn off the heat and pour the cold or room temperature vodka into the mix.
jello-shots-heat-and-mix
Step 2
Cut the lemon or oranges in half and hollow them out.  Use a ladle to pour the unformed Jell-O liquid to the brim of each hollow rind.  Place in the fridge and allow them to cool and harden (approx 4 hours).  Halfway through the process, place a mint sprig in each half and allow them to set.  Serve the Jell-O shots up
jello-shots-lemon

There's always room for Jell-O!

There's always room for Jell-O!

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ORANGASMIC CATFISH

October 23, 2008
The only your time together can be more tender than this filet.

Only your time together should be more tender than this fillet.

This recipe is a variation on a dish made for an ex-girlfriend and I by the housekeeper of a rental house in Tulum, Mexico.  Naturally the ex went ape shit over this dish.  The sweetest revenge has been to employ this outstanding dish to bed a number of rebounds.  It’s best served with Mexican rice, steamed veggies and, if possible, a roasted peach or mango.  But a lazy slug can certainly get away with minute rice or over a simple salad.

Ingredients:
1. 2 catfish filets
2. 1 tablespoon achiote seasoning
3.  2 cloves of garlic chopped finely
4. 1 orange quartered
5. 1 Tablespoons of Olive Oil

Step 1
Rub the catfish filets with achiote seasoning and let it absorb for 15 minutes.

Step 2
Pour the olive oil in the pan and sauté the garlic for 30 seconds.

Step 3
Put catfish filets in the pan and squeeze the entire orange, pulp and all,  into the pan.  After a few minutes flip the filets so they cook evenly.

Step 4
Cook the fish until the orange juice has absorbed into the fish filets.  Now the fish serve over rice or a salad.