Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Toss it, toss it, TOSS THAT SALAD!

“Sometimes you gotta get your apple cleaned!” says my friend working overseas in Hong Kong. I don’t know what that means, but sure. I suppose you could say the same for getting your salad tossed. I’m still unclear on what exactly that means, but I know it’s filthy so get down with the get down. But rather than get lost in semantics, why don’t I tell you a little about this recipe? This dish is sure to get what ever you want tossed. Just don’t toss your cookies, unless you’re into that kinky German shit. Pour me another hefeweizen if that’s your bag. The era of the wrap may be waning, but quick healthy nibbles never go out of style. Portable salad can bring the nasty noise wherever you want to go. A horny hike? Yes! Sex on the beach? Big time! On the International Space Station? Cum in, Houston! The Toss Your Salad Wrap can also be served on a platter to a party where you can pick up a few phone numbers. This SINWICH is just that versatile. You should be too.

Total time: approximately 20 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking Buddy: This is a lunchtime fare, so lemonade, iced tea or Long Island ice tea

Ingredients (serves two):
1. 1 tablespoon of Dijon mustard
2. 2 tablespoons of CAESAR DRESSING
3. 1 burrito sized flour tortilla
4. 2 handfuls of chopped lettuce
5. ½ a lemon worth of juice
6. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
7. ½ an avocado sliced thinly
8. 1 chicken breast
9. 1/3 of a red onion cut into thin rings
10. ½ a lemons worth of juice
11. ½ a green pepper cut julienne style
12. 1 handful of feta cheese
13. 1 garlic clove cut finely

Step 1
Mix the lemon juice and Dijon mustard in a bowl. Marinate the chicken breast (approx 10 minutes) before throwing it on the grill at high heat (approx 7 minutes) or oven at 350 degrees F (approx 35 minutes). Grill or bake both sides thoroughly so it begins to brown and the meat is white all the way through. Slice the chicken into bite-sized strips.

Step 2
Toss the chicken, lettuce, tomato, avocado and Caesar dressing in a bowl and mix thoroughly.

Step 3
Assemble the wrap by dumping the salad contents into the middle of the tortilla. Push the contents toward the back of the tortilla and roll it tight, pinching the sides to keep in the contents. Once it is rolled nice and tight, cut the wrap into sections before serving them up.