Who said breakfast can’t be quick, cheap and gourmet? These purveyors of untruths are likely terrorists or, at the very least, buzz kills. Ignore these fools for they know not what they say. Prepare to class up the morning after tainting it with unmentionable activities that would make the church ladies blush. Eggs Whorentine to the rescue! It’s got all the sexiness of Eggs Benedict, but with the spinach power of Popeye. Let your breakfast speak for itself when you have a sleeping beauty in your bed. Sure she/he is eager for you to report for duty, but damnit, you just gave them good loving and need a recharge. That’s where the protein in the eggs, carbohydrates of the English muffin and the famed Popeye power of spinach keep you going long and strong. Your first bite will send steam out of your ears and you’ll both be off for the next round and round. Toot toot!
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Mimosa, Bellini or all of the above
Ingredients (for two):
1. 3 eggs
2. 2 healthy handfuls of spinach
3. 3 dashes of salt
4. A dash of cayenne pepper
5. 1 English muffin cut split
6. 1 shallot diced
7. ½ a lemon worth of juice
8. 2 tablespoons of butter
Melt ½ a tablespoons of butter. Sauté the shallots with a dash of salt until they caramelize. Toss in the spinach, squeeze ¼ of the lemon juice and cook until they reduce in size. (Approx 4 minutes)
Crack one of the eggs and separate the yolk from the egg white, which you can set aside. On ultra-low heat, melt the remaining 1½ tablespoons of butter. Quickly mix together the separated egg yolk and squeeze the remaining lemon juice into the melted butter. Add salt and cayenne pepper and voila: hollandaise sauce! (Approx 2 minutes)
Toast the English muffins. Now poach those eggs as you wish. My method is to boil a pot of water then crack the two eggs into a small bowl or teacup with the egg whites separated for the hollandaise sauce. Salt the eggs and dump them into the pot. The whites of the eggs will firm up and the yolks will get gooey. Drain the water from the pot. (Approx 3 minutes)
Once the English muffins have toasted, spread a little butter on each of them. Place ½ of the spinach on each muffin, following it up with a poached egg, and crown it with hollandaise sauce. Breakfast of fucking champions!
Eggs Whorentine? I LOVE IT!!!! Cook to Bang is my new favorite website! Not only are the recipe names outrageously funny (and will be used with presentation of meals) but the recipes themselves are exceptional! I don’t think I even need a partner anymore, I’ll just look at this website and fantasize about Carnal Carrot Soup.