PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD

Spicing up the bedroom is key to successful sexual relations.  You never want your partner to get bored with your maneuvers between the sheets.  They might end up blogging about your short-cummings or jump ship for Craigslist Casual Encounters.  Getting upstaged by cyber-players that live in their mother’s basements is never good for the self-esteem.  But don’t you dare give up on yourself just yet. Kick-start that faltering tryst with some flavors you already know and love.  Below are some delicious twists in foreplay to eat off your play pal:

Only the finest ingredients belong on your lover

Only the finest ingredients belong on your lover

FOODS THAT BELONG IN BED:
•    WHIPPED CREAM: A true bedroom classic.  Need we say more?
•    BERRIES: Fruity nipples you can eat artfully off your partner’s reclined body.
•    SASHIMI: Subtle flavor, protein-loaded and simulates another lickable treat.
•    CHOCOLATE: Melt over your favorite body parts and eat the aphrodisiac off.
•    ICE CUBES: Sugar-free hardened nipples.
•    POPSICLES: Cold, refreshing, phallic.
•    HONEY: Perfect for licking off the naughtier bits.
•    WATERMELON: Light, refreshing, organic Viagra substitute.

The tastier side of lust

The tastier side of lust

FOODS TO AVOID:
•    SANDWICHES: Breadcrumbs don’t belong between the sheets.
•    CLAM CHOWDER: Hot, white and creamy?  This ain’t no hardcore porno.
•    PIZZA: Hot melted cheese is tasty, but are 3rd degree burns worth it?
•    MAYONNAISE: Belongs on a sandwich, not your naughty bits.
•    SALAMI: Unless you’re making object porn, just hide your own salami.
•    CHILI PEPPERS: Like pouring battery acid down your shorts.
•    TACO SALAD: There is nothing less sexy than this culinary abomination.

Avoid foods with less sex appeal than an STD

Avoid foods with less sex appeal than an STD

One Response to PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD

  1. This blog seems to get a good ammount of visitors. How do you promote it? It gives a nice unique twist on things. I guess having something real or substantial to say is the most important factor.

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