Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Poking around in the dark never tasted so good.

Aloha, hula girls! Kamana wanna laya. That is Hawaiian for, “Come over and I’ll make you dinner.” At least that’s what the tour guide said to me on a tropical rainforest walk. Being the unusual tourist with caustic wit is at least good for something. My lack of fanny-pack, Pearl Harbor commemorative t-shirt, and golf hat gave me away. Eager to get away from the family, and, do I really need a reason to jump into the car of an attractive stranger? This lickable local showed me the real Hawaii, including a real Hawaiian bar where my weak sauce knowledge of surfing lingo was mocked. Lucky for my fragile ego, she took me home after for the promised homemade meal. This babe had a badass blade and sliced up sashimi grade ahi tuna her friend caught that morning. I honestly can’t tell you what was better, the poke or the poking.

Total time: Approximately 1-2 hours (mostly fridge time)
Projected cost: $12
Drinking buddy: Sake

Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 1/2 tbsp sesame seeds
2. 1 tsp sesame oil
3. 1 tbsp soy sauce
4. 1 tbsp HONEY
5. 1 dash crushed red pepper
6. 1/2 lb sushi grade ahi TUNA
7. 2 green onions chopped coarsely

Step 1
Cut the ahi into bite-sized cubes.

Step 2
Throw the ahi into a bowl and combine with the green onions, soy sauce, sesame oil, honey, sesame seeds, and crushed red pepper. Mix together and refrigerate until cool (approx 1-2 hrs).

Serve the poking poke on a plate or in martini glasses to make Poketinis, the classiest way to indulge.