The journey to the center of this aphrodisiac is about to begin. First we’ll shrink ourselves down using technology we reversed-engineered from the potion our corporate spy Alice swiped from Wonderland. Now that we are tiny as microbes, the real adventure begins. Our goal? To figure out what makes figs so goddamn sexy. Our field-tests have proven that the probability of premarital sex after consuming fresh figs rises exponentially. One might just say it becomes a foregone conclusion. Regardless, we need to understand the science so that we can duplicate it, shrink it into pill form and mass-market to college kids. Only then can the next fantastic voyage begin. All aboard!
Total time: approximately 3 minutes
Projected cost: $11
Drinking Buddy: Champagne
Ingredients (for 2):
1. ½ package multi-grain crackers
2. ½ jar FIG jam
3. ½ package Boursin cheese
Spread each cracker with a layer of Boursin and a layer of fig jam. Serve it up on a platter in less time than it takes to text a booty call. What are you waiting for?