POOF! Hear that? It’s the sound of a bra disappearing. Straight into thin air. Never seen anything like it. There was this art chick I invited home for food after a gallery party comparing my sandwich to Green Eggs and Ham. But then the avant-garde skeptic stopped making deranged metaphors and took a big green bite…POOOF! Her entire top vanished by the time she finished the first half of the sandwich. The second half was powerful enough to finish the job on her, and then make my pantaloons implode in a supernova. The curse of unnecessary clothing that baffled nerdy scientists for centuries has now been eradicated with the enchanted aphrodisiac PESTO (basil, pine nuts).
MAGIC 1 – SCIENCE 0
Projected cost: $10
Drinking Buddy: Beer or a SLUTTY TEMPLE
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
2. Mayonnaise to spread at your discretion
3. 2 tablespoons of PESTO
4. 2 sandwich rolls
5. ½ an AVOCADO sliced
6. 1 tomato sliced thinly
7. 1 large chicken breast
Flatten the chicken breast with a mallet or your fists of fury. Spread 1 tablespoon of pesto on one side of the chicken. Warm up the olive oil in a pan and throw down the chicken pesto side down. Spread the rest of the pesto on the topside of the chicken. Cook through, flipping once using spatula to keep pesto crust on the bird (approx 3 minutes per side). Cut the tasty green meat in half.
Split the bread roll horizontally, leaving the corner of the bread intact. Spread mayo or your condom-ment of your choice over the bread and stuff it with the pesto chicken, tomatoes and avocado. Close up shop, slice it in half and serve stat.
Make that clothing vanish like a magician.