Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

"I'm long, and I'm strong, and I'm down to get the friction on!" - Sir Mix-A-Lot

Chicken salad makes most people think of a backyard luncheon on a Sunday afternoon after church. The respectable ladies wear their hats, fan themselves with the hymnal handouts, and nibble on dull chicken salad made with chicken, mayo, and sliced celery. I don’t blame you for dismissing chicken salad as a big old snooze-fest. But what if you substituted Mrs. Anderson’s usual yawn-inducing specialty with the Cook To Bang version turbo-loaded with all things banging? You got yourself a Whitesnake video in the backyard. The ladies will rip holes in their Sunday best, crawl across the foldout tables, and shake their teased hair around as if there’s an oversized fan conveniently blowing. The men, the good reverend included, will headbang and mosh, Jell-O cubes flying everywhere. Careful where you serve this salad! Cook To Bang is no liable for the aftermath.

Total time: approximately 5 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: RAGING HARD ON LEMONADE

Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 2 tbsp mayonnaise
2. 1 tbsp grated Parmesan
3. 1/4 rotisserie chicken
4. 1 small handful sun-dried tomatoes
5. 1 large handful ARTICHOKE hearts
6. Fresh BASIL

Step 1
First pull off the chicken from the bones and chopped pseudo-finely. Next chop up the artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomato, and basil.

Step 2
Mix together the chopped chicken, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomato, basil, grated Parmesan, and mayonnaise.

This salad will get the friction on by it’s lonesome, or will gladly love up a toasted slice of bread or two.