Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Bare fruit before you bare all

You should know better. This salad is reserved for the harvest Gods.  But you eat it anyway.  Sinner.  Man should not have access to a salad this powerful. The discovery of this recipe is akin to Prometheus giving man fire.  Sure I’ll have to wash a mountain of dishes for all eternity, but knowing you might serve this to a hot date makes it all worth it.  Ye shall reap the glory from this culinary gem heretofore unattainable.  It’s the only ammunition you’ll need for a successful conquest.  The Forbidden Fruit Salad has delivered for me on more than on occasion, sexing up a few dull BREAKFASTS and lunches.  This represents one of my favorite fruit combinations, but I encourage you to try your favorite.  Did I mention this ultra-healthy salad will make certain bodily secretions taste way better?

Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Vodka or post-golf scotch

Ingredients:
1. 3 kiwis peeled and cut into eights
2. ½ lemon for juice and zest
3. 2 tablespoons of honey
4. 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
5. 1 cup of water
6. 1 banana peeled and sliced thinly
7. 1 tangerine peeled and sections separated
8. 1 small handful of cloves
9. 1 mango peeled, de-pitted and cut into bite-sized pieces

Step 1
Boil the water.  Zest the lemon half and toss it in along with the cloves, cinnamon and honey.  Simmer to allow the flavor to absorb.  (Approx 10 minutes)

Step 2
Strain out the spice debris from the dressing and squeeze in the juice from the zested lemon half.  Allow it to cool before tossing it with the pornocopia of fruit.  Serve up the fruit salad confident that you will be able to fight off any cold.