Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

This lemonade is SOOO HARD right now!

Did you ever have a lemonade stand as a kid?  There you were with some janky ass cardboard sign that has LEMONADE 4 SALE misspelled.  Sure mom did most of the work and you probably only earned a net profit of 35 cents, but you showed entrepreneurial spunk, damn it!  Just imagine what a difference a little vodka could have made to your enterprise.  You would have had every lonely housewife, teenager and wino in a five-mile radius lining up for some of your wares.  If the cops came, you’d just smile your cute innocent smile, claim you thought vodka was just “mommy’s special water” and hand the officers a glass.  Now that you got the whole neighborhood trashed, feel free to count your money.  Fast forward to today.  An adult running a suburban lemonade stand is ridiculous. But serve homemade spiked lemonade at a party or for your special somebody and suddenly you have opened a portal into childhood, with the added bonus of being sauced.  Just don’t be too hard on that lemonade.

Total time: approximately 40 minutes
Projected cost: $4 (excluding liquor)
Drinking Buddy: A shot of tequila or just water

Ingredients (serves 2, and then some):
1. 1½ cups of white sugar
2. 1 cup of vodka (you can always mix in more or less)
3. ½ cup of brown sugar
4. 1 sprig of mint leaves broken up, another handful for the simple syrup
5. 6 strawberries
6. 2 cups of lemon juice (approx 5 lemons)

Step 1
Create simple mint syrup.  Boil 2 cups of water, then mix in the white and brown sugar, and stir until the sugar dissolves.  Turn off the heat and throw in a large handful of mint leaves and allow them to steep in the fridge. (Approx 30 minutes)

Step 2
Cut the stems off the strawberries. Chop 5 of the strawberries up coarsely.  Cut the last one in long strips and set aside to place around the glass when served later.  Puree half the coarsely chopped strawberries, and set the other half aside.

Step 3
Ideally squeeze fresh lemons or, if you must, lemon juice in a bottle and pour it in a big mixing bowl.  Follow it up with 4 cups of the simple mint syrup, the pureed strawberries, vodka, mint leaves, ice and coarsely chopped strawberries.  Give it all a good stir and then serve in glasses crowned with the long strawberry strips.