Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Holy shit, bra!  Did you catch Phish at Bonaroo?  I mean like wow, man!  Maybe I can articulate it without than bohemian euphemisms once the acid wears off.  At least I was able to pick up some hard-body hippie harlots in the lot selling Dank Organic Veggie Burritos out of my mom’s Prius.  They thought my vegan wraps were heady, yo.  I played them some old bootlegs from like WAY back in the day.  They were mad impressed, especially when they started rubbing the Phish tat across my heart.  Good thing they didn’t realize it was just henna until after I get my dirty hippie orgy on.

Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: PANTY DROPPING SHANDY, bra

Ingredients:
1. 1 BLACK BEANS can heated
2. 2 dashes fajita seasoning
3. 1 tbsp olive oil
4. Rice cooked
5. 1 red bell pepper cut in strips
6. 1 green bell pepper cut in strips
7. 1 onion cut in strips
8. 2 handfuls of lettuce cut in strips
9. 2 garlic cloves chopped finely
10. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
11. ½ AVOCADO sliced thinly
12. Burrito-sized tortillas

Step 1
Sauté the garlic with olive oil on medium heat (approx 30 sec).  Throw in the onions and bell peppers.  Sprinkle some fajita seasoning and sauté until they soften (approx 4 min).

Step 2
Assemble the burritos.  Warm the tortillas in the oven and fill each with small scoops of rice, beans, sautéed veggies, lettuce, tomatoes, avocado and MANGO SALSA if you’re feeling adventurous.

Step 3
Roll up the burritos.  Flip a 1/3 of the flap over to cover the ingredients, fold over the left and right side, roll the final flap over and press it so they stay.  Cut the burritos in half or eat whole like a barbarian.

Serve the burritos up on plates with more MANGO SALSA.