Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Ever find yourself vexed with the choice of either eating breakfast or morning sex before work?  I usually go for the latter.  But why limit yourself when you can do both?  Smoothees are a kick-ass kick-start to a kick-in-the-nuts day.  With practice, you can blend on up, pour it in a to go cup, and be out the door in under a minute.  If that isn’t reason enough, consider the health benefits.  The fruit’s antioxidants nourish your mistreated body and give you a healthy jolt far healthier than coffee or tea.  Protein powder will keep you sharp and satiated until lunch, and also give the male libido an extra push.  Did I mention the aphrodisiac elements?  Making a smoothee from home also makes economic sense too rather than paying a smoothee shop like Jamba Juice $6 a pop.  But you already know that because like Sade says, “You’re a Smooth(ee) Operator.”

Total time: approximately 2 minutes
Projected cost: $8 (with repeats in your future)
Drinking Buddy: Vodka mixed in, but only on weekends

Ingredients (for 2 smoothees:
1. 1 scoop of protein powder (optional)
2. 3 cups of your favorite juice (mine is blueberry)
3. 1 tablespoon of yogurt (optional
4. 1 handful of fresh/frozen mango chunks
5. 1 handful of fresh/frozen blackberries
6. 1 banana

Step 1
Throw all the ingredients in the blender in this order: banana, blackberry, mango, juice, and lastly yogurt if you so desire.

Step 2
Blend the shit out of the fruit until it all forms one sexy red color.  If you want the extra umf, throw in the protein powder now and blend that too.  Pour into cups, down them like a champ and get on with your morning, especially if that means getting it on.