This breakfast is like so spiritual and full of heady karma, man.
This breakfast is like so spiritual and full of heady karma, man.

The dirty longhairs have taken over breakfast! At least one that I picked up at a summer concert did.  Mind you, she was a hot young not-yet-jaded hippie, but a hippie all the same.  The previous night she proved herself to be a carnivore repeatedly stuffing a certain meat into her mouth.  But come morning when the alcohol and whatever mind-alerting bohemian substance she may have been on wore off, the self-righteous hippie returned.  There I was casually frying up bacon when she started lecturing me all about how the poor little piggies suffered.  But this hippie-crite hottie was more than happy to eat eggs, neglecting to bemoan the miserable conditions of egg-laying hens.  So I assembled the veggies in my fridge and did my best to improvise.  This aphrodisiac triple-threat turned out pretty damn good for a meal on the fly.  Good enough for me to bang her again before I inadvertently pissed her off when she saw the sign in my bathroom that reads: HIPPIES USE SIDE DOOR (no exceptions!).  That saved me the trouble of announcing I was going seal clubbing that afternoon so she would leave.

Total time: approximately 7 minutes
Projected cost: $7

eggs mchippie prepIngredients (serves 2):
2. Black pepper to taste
3. Salt to taste
4. 2 slices tomato
5. 2 eggs
6. BASIL leaves
7. 1 English muffin
8. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
9. ½ AVOCADO sliced thinly

Step 1
Bring a thin layer of water in a pan to a boil.  Chop the ends off the asparagus and throw in the pan.  Crack the eggs on either side of the asparagus, throw green onions over each and poach (approx 5 min).  Chop the poached asparagus spears in half.
eggs mchippie poach
Step 2
Toast the English muffins and then assemble 2 magnificent towers of veggie/egg goodness: tomato, asparagus, avocado, egg, basil, salt and pepper.
eggs mchippie assemble
Serve up with a NOT-SO-TEENY WEENY BELLINI before another roll in the hay.
eggs mchippie served 2

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