Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Once you go Greek, you don't go back...unless you're squeamish

The Greeks sure know how to live. They have amazing islands, beautiful tan people and ouzo that pours out of every faucet. Seriously. I actually took an ouzo shower in Mykonos. But the shower was in a club and my Greek friends were pouring it over my head. My first thought was I had pissed off one of the girls by telling her she looks like the homely older sister of the goddess Athena. Thankfully this goddess-like mortal didn’t lose my sarcasm in translation. The ouzo shower was her mating call. Naturally the boorish American read it wrong thinking I had offended her. Believe it or not, that happens a lot. It took a few more alcoholic hosings and a passionate kiss on the dance floor to finally get it. I was crystal clear as the Mediterranean Sea when she led me down to the beach like a Trojan horse. Now I fully comprehend what it means to go Greek. Interesting. What’s also interesting is the island nation’s produce. Super healthy, tasty Greek Salads will fuel many ouzo shower-filled evenings. Do Zeus proud and go Greek!

Total time: approximately 5 minutes
Projected cost: $10
Drinking Buddy: Ouzo straight out of Dionysus’ wineskin

Ingredients (serves two):
1. 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar
2. 1 teaspoon of salt
3. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
4. 16-20 pitted Kalamata olives
5. Black pepper to taste
6. 1 teaspoon of dried oregano
7. ½ a cucumber cut into bite-sized half moons
8. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
9. 1/3 of a red onion cut into thin rings
10. ½ a lemons worth of juice
11. ½ a green pepper cut julienne style
12. 1 handful of feta cheese
13. 1 garlic clove cut finely

Step 1
Mix up that Greek dressing. Combine the garlic, lemon juice, salt, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and dried oregano in a bowl. Mix it all together thoroughly so the ingredients become one, much like you and your date will become.

Step 2
Combine all the veggies in a mixing bowl. Add the Kalamata olives and crumble the feta over it all. Dump in the dressing and toss that salad like a good Greek. Add black pepper as you like and serve it up immediately. You don’t want this salad or the sexual chemistry to wilt.