They’ll beg and beg and beg. Let them. It’s only natural. They want what you got. Basic law of supply and demand. Make like OPEC fixing the price of your commodities. Make outrageous demands they have no choice but to meet. It’s not like they can go elsewhere. Right? You’re wondering about alternative sources of sexual energy? Ha! There is no substitute for the man tested, woman approved real thing. 4 billion years of Earthlings banging can’t be wrong. So embrace the goods granted to you by God, evolution or your preferred “Where did we come from?” dogma. Now make them beg long and HARD. Afterwards, serve them breakfast as a reward for the respect shown.
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: NOT-SO-TEENY WEENY BELLINI
1. 3 eggs
2. 1 tsp Dijon mustard
3. 1 dash of CAYENNE PEPPER
4. 1 tbsp butter
5. ½ lemon
6. 1 English muffin
7. 2 bacon strips (turkey & veggie OK)
8. 4 slices of AVOCADO
9. Fresh BASIL leaves
Create Hollandaise sauce. Melt the butter on the lowest heat. Separate the yolk from one egg and mix it up with Dijon mustard, lemon juice, melted butter and cayenne pepper. Whisk it up into frothy awesomeness.
Poach the remaining eggs in a thin pan of boiling water, using a spatula to create 2 separate eggs. Cook until the egg whites cook through, but the yolks remain gooey (approx 4 min).
Fry up the bacon until it’s crispy.
Toast the English muffin and assemble the Eggs Beg-A-Dick: bacon, poached egg, avocado, hollandaise sauce and top each one off with chopped basil.
Serve one up per plate with some SWEET ASS-BROWNS.