Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

All that time in the sun will do one of two things: in youth, it makes you look hotter and more desirable; but as the years wear on, all that sunlight can reduce your body to a leather handbag.  I have witnessed many sun-worshipping hotties wither away in a matter of years.  What a waste of a perfectly hard body.  Anyway…this digression was brought to you by Coppertone suntan lotion.  The point to all this warbling is that drying yourself out in the sun is not sexy, but doing the same to a tomato makes my engines revs.  See I’m totally gay for tomatoes as is.  But when you concentrate the lycopene-laced flavor and it becomes like Spanish Fly.  Sex appeal oozes at your pores the moment you throw the sun-dried love into the mix.  This simple pasta dish went from a subdued “Yay…” to a scream-from-the-highest-rooftop “How you like me now?!”  Enjoy this pasta responsibly by wearing at least SPF 15 when you bang outdoors.

Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Vino, baby!

Ingredients (for 2):
1. 1 dash salt
2. 2 tbsp olive oil
3. 2 tbsp sun-dried tomatoes (preferably in oil)
4. 8-ounces pasta
5. 1 handful parsley chopped coarsely
6. 2 sausages sliced semi-thinly
7. ½ onion chopped finely
8. 4 mushrooms sliced semi-thinly
9. 2 garlic cloves sliced thinly

Step 1
First set a pot of water to boil.  Sauté the garlic and onion in olive oil.  Add the sausage, mushrooms, parsley and sun-dried tomatoes and let it all cook on ultra-low heat.

Step 2
Throw in the pasta, cook al dente and drain.  Toss the pasta into the saucepan and toss around until the flavor spreads evenly.

Serve the pasta up on plates.  If you’re feeling frisky, add some Parmesan.