IN-SLUT-ADA CAPRESE

Caprese them up against the mattress

Caprese them up against the mattress

Insalata caprese is the quintessential simple Italian salad.  Stacks of tomatoes, cheese and basil make for quite the sexy threesome.  Each flavor is in perfect harmony, never getting jealous that one is getting more attention because they are all so damn fine.  The tang of the tomato, soothing taste of mozzarella, and the earthy basil twist = KISS THE COOK. That’s what makes this classic clever.  Picky dates looking for a reason to leave you taking a cold shower can’t say no to something so seductively simple.  Just ask Stephen Hawking.  He’d tell you it’s against the laws of astrophysics.  You can’t argue with science, nor can you argue with this desirable salad.  One way or another, you won’t be sleeping alone.  Bear in mind a human body tends to be more comfortable to spoon with.

caprese-prepIngredients:
1. 2 buffalo mozzarella balls cut into 1 inch thick slices
2. fresh whole basil leaves
3. 2 tomatoes cut into 1 inch slices
4. 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar
5. 2 tablespoons of olive oil

Step 1
Stack the tomato, mozzarella and basil, like you stack the card deck cheating at poker.  Same principle, but one is way tastier and slightly more honest.
caprese-stacked
caprese-drizzled1Step 2
Serve up your insalata caprese on a plate and drizzle with the desired amount of olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  Serve solo, with bread, or with a little serenade.

Variations:
•    Substitute tomatoes with roasted red or yellow peppers
•    For a creamier, more foux de fa fa version, use burrata cheese

2 Responses to IN-SLUT-ADA CAPRESE

  1. […] Caprese salad is the simplest Italian salad, but punches you in the nose with the complex flavors it yields.  The buttery mozzarella, crisp tomato, and basil’s hint of the Italian countryside can put you a pimping pedestal.  But sometimes delicious and light aren’t going to cut it when you are hungry enough to eat a Buick.  Not to worry.  This versatile salad leads a double life as a sandwich.  So it’s easy to take this dish on afternoon picnics in areas secluded enough for you to make sweet love in the great outdoors.  Should your date lack taste buds entirely and not like this sensational sandwich, the more for you to savor. “Sorry, sucka!  But I still think your cute…wanna get busy in this grassy meadow?” […]

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