Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Rice pudding is comfort food.  Comfort = connection.  Connection= banging.  You can’t argue with sound logic.  Granted, rice pudding isn’t as sexy as a chocolate soufflé or crème brule.  But it warms the heart and inspires the mind. That is the conclusion I came to when I served this dessert to a date I assumed was a total prude.  She was a colder fish than the chilled cocktail shrimp I served as an appetizer.  Not even the MO’ LAYS CHICKEN MOLE could get her to flirt back.  I was ready to admit defeat (something I rarely do) and show her to the door.  But then I broke out the rice pudding I had chilling in the fridge.  The ice in my frigid date’s heart and the block of ice between her legs thawed.  She made the first move and the second and…let’s just say I felt a little violated after.  Good thing I had more rice pudding to comfort me when she left after using me for sex.

Total time: approximately 40 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking Buddy: SMOKING HOT PEPPERMINT FATTY

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2½ cups milk
2. ½ cup raisins
3. ¼ cup brown sugar
4. 1 tbsp HONEY
5. ½ tsp of nutmeg
6. 1 tsp of vanilla extract
7. 1 dash of salt
8. 1 cinnamon stick
9. ½ cup of rice

Step 1
Throw the rice, milk, salt and sugar in a pot.  Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to simmer until the rice softens (approx 25 min), stirring occasionally so nothing sticks to bottom.

Step 2
Turn off the heat and add the vanilla, honey, nutmeg, brown sugar.  Turn the heat back on and cook until the pudding thickens (approx 10 min).  Remove the cinnamon stick and mix in the raisins.

Serve the pudding up in bowls, using the cinnamon stick as a charming accoutrement.