Dig on down to the underground. There are treasures to be found.

All kinds of exciting things happen below the ground. Ever hear of a gopher gala? What about a mole massive? Groundhog grind? Do you know what fuels all these critters crazy times? Root vegetables! Potatoes, beets, radishes, and oh so many more. Bully to the fancy pants food that grows above ground. No self-respecting tunnel-digging creature would ever admit to preferring a tomato to a carrot. So in honor of the subterranean happenings that I had the pleasure of attending, I whipped up an uber-healthy salad using only goods from down below. I had all the underground creatures sitting around my table like a Mad Hatter style tea party. It was messy, but oh so delicious. And then the queen of the mole people invited me into her boudoir for a private show you would never see on the Disney Channel. We were to be betrothed, but I escaped through a tunnel that led me back to my bed where I woke up confused and a little hungry.

Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking buddy: Root beer

Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN balsamic vinegar
2. 1 dash salt
3. 1 bunch radishes
4. 1 bunch BEETS
5. 1 potato
6. 1 small handful goat cheese
7. 1 lemon wedge

Step 1
Bring a pot of water to a roaring boil. Chop off the stalks and tips of the radishes. Do the same for the beets, but preserve the leafy ends, rinse away the grit, and use as lettuce.

Step 2
Throw the potato, radishes, and beets in the boiling water. Cover and cook until you can easily pierce the potato with a fork (approx 30 min). Throw the veggies in ice-cold water to cool. Once you can handle them, rub off the skin on the beets and radishes with your thumbs. Slice all the root veggies thinly.

Step 3
Combine the beet leaves, potato, radish, and beet slices. Squeeze the lemon, add some salt, balsamic vinegar, and crumbled goat cheese. Now toss your salad!

Serve this bad ass salad with your favorite kick ass SINWICH.

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