Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Summer rolling with the homies

Summertime calls for lighter fare so we can hone our buns, abs and groins of steel.  Gone are the big coats that hide our blubbery bits.  If you want to bang you gotta look bangable.  So it’s time to put the dairy and beef products aside and get healthy.  Vegan food can be boring if you let it.  But how many obese vegans do you know?  My advice is to embrace the Asian fusion hippie party time.  Be sure your date notices how cultured and sensitive you are.  Play it off like you’ve gone green, instead of just greedy for more banging. If you want to roll in the hay, you better start rolling.

Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: Beer or a Singapore Sling

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tablespoon of soy sauce
2. 1 teaspoon of Kwong Hung Seng Sauce
3. 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil
4. Sweet chili sauce for dipping
5. 1 handful of chopped mushrooms
6. 6-ounces of firm tofu
7. ¼ lime
8. 5-6 dry rice paper wraps
9. 1 small handful of peeled and minced GINGER
10. 1 handful of chopped onions
11. 1 small handful of shredded coconut
12. 10 fresh mint leaves

Step 1
Crosshatch cut the tofu into small strips.

Step 2
Sauté the ginger and onions on medium heat with the vegetable oil (approx 3 min).  Add the mushrooms, Kwong Hung Seng Sauce and soy sauce (approx 2 min).  Throw in the tofu and limejuice and allow the flavor to absorb (approx 2 min).  Finally toss in the shredded coconut and cook it down (approx 1 min).

Step 3
Allow the tofu mixture to cool down in the fridge (approx 30 min).

Step 4
Create the spring rolls by bringing a shallow pan full of water to a boil.  Kill the heat and dip the rice paper sheets one at a time in the water for 30 seconds before setting them down on a flat dry surface.  Scoop a tablespoon of tofu in the middle, crown it with mint and roll it up tight.  Serve it with sweet chili sauce and your sweet ass personality.