Cookies are more than just a sweet distraction from life’s miseries. The crumbs we discover months later embedded in our couch’s fibers are a reminder of the moments of elation they bring. The Girl Scouts have come and gone, but we still want out cookies! And coconut brings out thoughts of the tropics and sun-bathed bodies. So get marooned on a desert island with a plate of bangaroons. Use these cookies as a peace offering for the sexy island girls or boys. Hopefully they aren’t headhunters. If they are, use this magnificent confection to convince them you are a god that should be worshipped. The secret ingredient (hint: rhymes with fineapple) will woo even the most skeptical savage. These cookies are also are unleavened for any of you chosen Cook-To-Bangers attending a Seder. Mazel Tov for being so goddamn sexy!
Total time: approximately 50 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Milk or a BANANA-RAM-YA MILKSHAKE
1. ¼ can of coconut milk
2. ½ cup of powdered sugar
3. 1 cup of sweetened shredded coconut
4. 2 egg whites
5. ½ a pineapple worth of chopped meat
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Mix up the pineapple, powdered sugar, shredded coconut, egg whites*, and coconut milk thoroughly.
* Separate by cracking egg in half and pouring the yolk back and forth between the shells until the whites drain into bowl, discard yolk.
Grease baking pans and then use an ice cream scoop or large spoon to scoop out cookies into balls. Leave plenty of room between cookies. Bake until the tops brown (approx 35 minutes), allow to cool and harden (approx 10 minutes), and then gently pry the cookies off with a spatula and serve.