Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

I'm fixin' for a vixen!

I should have known better. Vegan girls are always trouble. And it’s not just because they are a pain in the ass to feed. There’s something kooky in anyone who limits their culinary possibilities so severely. But the upside is the rarity of obese vegans. Harmony was certainly no exception. She’s yoga master flex, hence me taking an interest. Picking up one’s yoga instructor is a delicate dance. The last thing you want to do is crash and burn, too humiliated to return to a class you enjoyed. I overheard Harmony gab on about her vegan diet and the explosive orgasms she enjoyed as a result, so I rocked the vegan angle. Post-yoga vegan soup on a cold Sunday evening? Harmony was on it, and on me after she sucked down my soup. Home girl demonstrated yoga possibilities I had never even wet-dreamed of. Now we have a regular Sunday Cirque du Vegan: I cook; she defies and gratifies gravity.

Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Red red wine

Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 1 can vegetable stock
2. 1/4 cup white wine vinegar
3. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
4. 1 dash salt
5. 1 dash black pepper
6. 1/2 onion chopped coarsely
7. 1 potato
8. 1 bunch radishes
9. 1 JALEPENO sliced
10. 3 saffron strands

Step 1
First rinse the potato thoroughly and chopped coarsely. Wash the radish, cut away and discard the stalks, but keep the leafy tops, coarsely chopped.

Step 2
Heat up the olive oil in the pan on medium heat. Sauté the onions until they soften (approx 2 min). Add the jalapeño slices, spicing with salt and pepper (approx 1 min). Thrown in the radish slices, chopped leaves, and potatoes. Pour in the white wine vinegar, bring to a boil, and then simmer (approx 5 min).

Step 3
Pour the stock in, add the saffron strands, and bring to a roaring boil. Turn the heat down low and simmer, covered until the veggies are super duper soft (approx 20 min). Puree the soup until it’s all a unified, banging blend.