O-FACED OATMEAL

When your date says “Oh!” you say “Yeah!”

Oh boy! Oh man! Oh god! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (to NKTOB groove)! These are just some of the many reactions I have heard to making oatmeal CTB style. We’ve all eaten instant oatmeal, mostly during childhood, although some of us (my friends know who I speak of) still gobble that shit up. But what about the rest of whose taste buds haven’t matured beyond a 6-year-old, their fingers stained with Kool-Aid? Oatmeal can be something other than a bland exercise in self-restraint. But why not have the best of both worlds? Nutrition and flavor can still give each other lap dances with the right amount of TLC. And that’s what this recipe is all about. Here’s to the one sleeping in your bed who’s waking up to a big surprise. Expect them to be smiling like a donut.

Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: HOTTIE TODDY or SMOKING HOT PEPPERMINT FATTY

Ingredients (Serves 4):
1. 1 cup regular/soy/almond/rice milk
2. 4 tbsp brown sugar
3. 1 cup oats
4. 2 tbsp HONEY
5. 2 bananas sliced thinly
6. 1 handful raisins
7. 1 tbsp butter
8. 1 cinnamon stick
9. 1 cup water (not pictured, you know what water looks like, right?)

Step 1
Combine the water, milk, and cinnamon stick and bring to a boil (approx 2 min). Lower to medium heat, mix in the oats, and cook through until the liquid all absorbs (approx 10 min).

Step 2
While the oatmeal cooks, make the mixture that will take your breakfast from 0-to-banging in nothing flat. Melt the butter in a saucepan on medium-low heat. Mix in the honey and brown sugar to make syrup. Add the raisins and bananas and cook slowly until oatmeal is ready. Pour in the magic and off you go!

These spoonfuls of heaven are pretty filling, but if you must eat something else, fresh fruit and a TANGY BANGY SHRIMP SCRAMBLE.

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