The butt crack of dawn will reveal its cruel self after you’ve been up all night dancing the horizontal mambo. But shame mixed with glee over the unspeakable acts of last night will subside when you take control in the kitchen. Sure you are short on sleep and long on orgasms. Your day may be shot being a productive worker bee turning society’s cogs. But don’t give up on today. Those bleary-eyes should see a world full of possibilities and reassessed plans. Get yourself the right nutrients and you can push right on through into the evening, banging all the way. Nothing says, “Good morning, now let’s get back to bed!” like an omelet. It’s got protein, veggies and the challenging flip that will fuel your body so you can break yet even more of God’s laws. Remember that in the name of banging, sometime you have to crack a few eggs.
Total time: approximately 12 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: NOT-SO-TEENY BELLINI
Ingredients (for two):
1. 4 eggs
2. ½ tbsp of olive oil
3. 2 tbsp of milk
4. 2 dashes of salt
5. 2 dashes of black pepper
6. 2 strips of bacon (turkey or veggie OK)
7. ½ a pear sliced thinly
8. 1 handful of chopped mushrooms
9. Thin slices of Brie cheese
Beat the eggs thoroughly in a bowl with the milk, pepper and salt.
Chop up the bacon in small slices and sauté in a pan with the pear and mushroom slices (approx 3 min).
Warm up ½ the olive oil in a small non-stick pan on medium heat. Pour in ½ the egg mixture and cook until it is mostly firmed (approx 2 min). Pour in ½ the sautéed contents and Brie and carefully flip over with a spatula.
Slide immediately onto a plate and move onto round 2…of omelets.