Slap some sugar, lemon, balsamic, then put them balls on it!

Slap some sugar, lemon, balsamic, then put them balls on it!

DESSERT is the time when a Cook usually turns into Bang.  Many final courses like cheesecake that take over a day to make, like a slow, patient seduction.  There is nothing wrong with taking your time to holler at the moon so long as you do in fact holler.  But we live in a culture that wants everything yesterday. In fairness to the instant gratification crowd, here’s an instant dessert that is healthy, tasty, and quick on the go.  Do not fear the balsamic vinegar for it is your friend.  The fusion of the powdered sugar, fructose from the berries and the vinegar is like some mystical alchemy that preps your tongue ready for more adventuresome travels.  Be sure to hand-feed these to your date, thus fostering the intimacy you will no doubt exploit for your own perverted gains.  I have made this outstanding standout for more dates than I can remember and not once have I been refused. Won’t you join our merry band of culinary pranksters?

balsamic-strawberries-prepTotal time: approximately 2 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Champagne of course

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tablespoons of powdered sugar
2. 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar
3. 1 package of fresh strawberries
4. ½ a lemon worth of juice

Step 1
Cut the strawberries into thin slices, removing the stems.  Squeeze the lemon juice over the strawberries followed by the balsamic vinegar and the powdered sugar.  Serve this simple satisfaction on a platter and feed them to your lover(s).


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  2. Doug Barnard says:

    Great post, thanks for this! By the way, I once used Textuarants when I was making something similar to this and it worked awesome!

  3. […] “I KICKED EVERYONE ELSE TO THE CURB FOR YOU.” So you are a reformed player now. You burned your black book, canceled your Internet dating account, and said goodbye to your stable of sexpots. The person you are with is just that much better than those other bimbos/mimbos. Show them how you feel with a menu that says “You’re worth not having great sex with a different person every night.” TAP THAT ASS-PARAGUS SOUP BEGGIN’ FOR BACON WRAPPED SCALLOPS BALLS-ON-IT BALSAMIC STRAWBERRIES […]

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