Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

So your date has slept over and has a ridiculous craving for some artery clogging McDonalds.  How gross and inconvenient!  You can indulge their desire, save time and money, plus you’ll blow their mind with this vast improvement over the fast food original.  This fine breakfast dish is extremely simple to prepare, plus it can be relatively healthy, thus giving you some much-needed nutrients depleted by a morning in bed.  I first made this dish on a whim using minimal ingredients when a one-night stand demanded I drive her 3 miles away to the nearest fast food purveyor.  First, I despise haphazardly prepared food, but more importantly I was only interested in one thing, and the Egg McMuffin demand was cock-blocking me.  Luckily my ingenuity worked out A-OK.  We both got what we wanted and I never saw her again.  Ha!

Total time: approximately 4 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking Buddy: coffee or fresh orange juice, spiked with champagne or vodka

Ingredients (for two sinwiches):
1. ½ a tablespoon of olive oil
2. two dashes of salt
3. 2 eggs
4. 1 tomato sliced
5. ½ an avocado sliced
6. 2 English muffins
7. 2 pieces of lettuce
8. 4 sausage links or 2 sausage rounds (pork, veggie, turkey, etc.)
9. 1 tablespoon of cream cheese

Step 1
Split the English muffins and toast them.  If you are using sausage links, split them lengthwise and cook in a pan.

Step 2
Crack each egg in some sort of vessel and sprinkle a dash of salt on each.  Pour in some olive oil and then drop the eggs.  Keep the egg from spreading out too far using a spatula. Flip the egg when the bottom is solid white and cook over easy.  You want the yolk to be full of gooey goodness.

Step 3
Spread cream cheese on each side of the toasted English muffins.  On the bottom half, place the tomato, avocado and lettuce.  Then place the cooked egg, sausage and crown it with the top half of the English muffin.  Prepare to dine like a rarified deity!