Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Turkey turns 'em on, then turns 'em out. Yeow!

Hamburgers are not normally considered sexy, but they are a damn tasty staple of the American diet.  Turkey meat however is leaner, meaner and greener.   The protein does you right plus there’s less fat and twice the flavor when cooked right.  My thanks go out to the Native Americans for turning the Pilgrims onto this precious bird (sorry about taking your land and all).  The fire charring the meat empowers the caveman in every male chef.  The lady chef or date can enjoy this tasty piece of the American dream and not worry about the dish going straight to her thighs. When you bite into the center and find the goat cheese goodness, a choir of angels with trumpets shall inspire a tryst of the kinkiest order.  I tried a similar dish at a bourgeois New York restaurant priced somewhere upwards of $25.  The bill hurt my wallet, but my palette was well satisfied and my brain full of inspiration.  This summertime dish always ends with erotic memories that carry me through the cold, lonely winter.

Ingredients (for 2):
1. ½ pound of ground turkey
2. 1 green onion chopped coarsely
3. ¼ onion minced
4. 2 tablespoons of goat cheese
5. 4 mushrooms cut in slivers
6. 2 hamburger buns
7. ½ a tomato chopped into ½ inch rounds
8. ½ and avocado cut in strips

Step 1
First combine the chopped green onions into the turkey meat and separate into thick patties. Hollow out the center and stuff with minced onions and a tablespoon of goat cheese per patty.  Cover the stuffed center with meat and season as you wish.  Salt and pepper should suffice.

Step 2
Throw the prepped turkey patties on the grill (or in a frying pan) and cook thoroughly, flipping once to heat both sides through.  The meat should appear grey with charred black lines.

Step 3
While the meat is cooking, sauté the mushrooms with butter or olive oil and salt until they are soft and have absorbed all the moisture.   Toast the hamburger buns if you like.

Step 4
Remove the turkey patties from the grill and throw into the hamburger buns, topping them with the grilled mushrooms, tomato and avocado.  Add your preferred condiments: ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, BBQ sauce, etc. and serve on a plate with homemade French fries, a tasty salad from the CTB Leafy and Lovely section, or just complimented by your conversation skills.