OBSCENE TANGERINE DREAM SCALLOPS

Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

recipes sex seduction food homemade ctb cheap fast diy naked bang easy gourmet kitchen delicious yummy intercourse cunnilingus seduce grilling bbq soup main course entree atkins carbs salad appetizers fingerfood libations sandwich dessert sweets nude offensive hilarious funny casanova horny lunch dinner breakfast snacks alternative valentines boil bake poach stir-fry booze day morning wood drinks alcohol beverages nudity party entertaining australian heart low-fat low-caloriespanish southern northern latin american french italian mediterranean diet christmas pie mexican thai chinese international easter brownie picnic holidays thanksgiving cocktail pasta chicken fish bedroom history ancient civilizations cookie veggie fruit chocolate cheese steamed curry salsa tacos healthy vegan vegetarian fries rice noodles recession aphrodisiac

OBSCENE TANGERINE DREAM SCALLOPS

: Dream a little obscene dream

I dream a little dream every day. My dreams do not consist of me running in a field of daffodils holding hands with my pure-as-virgin-snow fiancé. There is no discussion of curtain rods and where to hang the menacing portrait of her father in our bedroom so he can watch us “make grandchildren”. That is another man’s dream that I find boringly obscene. My dreams are of the social derelict variety. They are filled with morally questionable fluids that get all over the bed, walls and playtime companions’ faces. The soundtrack consists of gasps, moans, and cracks from my flat hand connecting with firm backsides. You could hook my brain up to your DVR and I’d single-handedly put Skinemax out of business. My lawyers are already in discussion with Time Warner, but it comes down how many private islands I will receive stocked with island girls…coming soon to a living room near you. Perverted as I am, I’m also a glutton in my dreams. And this Chinese style scallop recipe came out of one such decadent dream. Enjoy my nocturnal emissions on your plate!

Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $13
Drinking Buddy: Beer or sweet white wine like a Riesling

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tsp Sriracha Hot CHILI Sauce
2. 1 tbsp oyster sauce
3. 1 tbsp soy sauce
4. 1 tbsp vegetable oil
5. ½ lb SCALLOPS
6. 1 red bell pepper cut in strips
7. 2 tangerines
8. 4 green onions choppers coarsely
9. 1 handful celery chopped coarsely
10. 1 lime wedge
11. 1 small handful GINGER chopped finely

Step 1
Marinate the scallops in limejuice and soy sauce.

Step 2
Zest the tangerine skin, peel and separate the wedges.

Step 3
Sauté the ginger, tangerine zest and celery with the vegetable oil, Sriracha chili sauce and oyster sauce.

Step 4
Add the red bell pepper and tangerine wedges and cook until they soften (approx 3 min). Add the scallops and cook through, flipping once (approx 4 min). Turn off the heat and garnish with green onions.

Serve this bad boy with some white rice or any combination of CTB certified RICE or NOODLE dishes.