BURRATA GOTTA LOTTA PEPPERS

Gotta lotta burrata to fatha

Some things in life just belong together. Dog and bone; man and woman; anal sex and lube. The sum is way more awesome than the parts. Can you imagine the Olympics without the ski and snowboard events? The very notion makes me shudder. That’s how I feel about creamy, dreamy burrata mozzarella. This majestic dairy product was hand delivered by Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed on a cloud made of chocolate and feathers. But as good as burrata is, without some sort of tasty wingman, it’s like eating caking frosting in the dark alone on a Saturday night (been there, it ain’t pretty). Tomatoes are the natural go to for most lovers of the CAPRESE SALAD and all things Italian. But clearly those well intentioned, but uninitiated have never enjoyed roasted red peppers with their burrata. I am willing to overlook this infraction, but now you have no excuse. Each bite is like a millions tiny angels tickling your balls or breasts. Heaven is calling your name, my friends!

Total time: approximately 90 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: Red wine

Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. 1 dash salt
3. 1 ball burrata mozzarella
4. 12″ baguette
5. 2 red bell peppers
6. 1 bunch fresh BASIL

Step 1
Preheat your oven to 350°F/175°C. Roast the red peppers in the oven, ideally in an oven-safe bowl until the skin blackens (approx 45 min). Place the peppers in a plastic bag, seal it, and leave in the fridge to cool (approx 30 min). The skin will peel away easily. Remove the stalk and chop finely.


Step 2
Mix together the chopped roasted red peppers, finely chopped basil, olive oil, and salt.

Step 3
Scoop the red pepper mixture onto a plate, creating a neat roundabout. Place the burrata ball on top. Slice the bread thinly and arrange artfully around the goods.

Serve on the table with a knife. Scoop a little red pepper and a sliver of burrata onto each slice of bread. Brace yourself for a barrage of compliments and falling debris of undergarments.

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