Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Bust a nut with some butternut

“I think I’m gonna bust a nut all over this squash! Can’t hold back any more.  Oh yeah, here it comes. Mmm mmm.  Damn this soup hits the spot every time.”  This is the typical reaction you get when you make this during wintertime.  The butternut is the sexiest, tastiest, most sultry member of the squash family.  It absorbs flavor like a champ and becomes velvety when cooked right. And when you roast it, good god does it drip with sex appeal.  There aren’t adjectives provocative enough to sum up cooking roasted butternut squash into a soup so I’ll leave that filthy fantasy to the individual chef.  This soup has gotten me through the leanest of times with some lovelies with countless requests for sequels.  One ex tried to get this recipe before we broke up, but I refused so she left in a huff never to be seen again.  Roxanne*, if you’re reading this, here’s the recipe finally available to any and all.  Enjoy, and give your cat my best.

*Name changed for publication (her real name was Catherine)

Total time: approximately 1 hour
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: A red wine, beer or whisky to warm your bones.

Ingredients:
1. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
2. 1 teaspoon (more for taste)
3. 6 cups of vegetable stock
4. 1 teaspoon of coriander
5. 1 teaspoon of paprika
6. 1 teaspoon of pepper
7. 1 teaspoon of turmeric
8.  1 pound butternut split lengthwise
9. 1 onion chopped coarsely
10. 2 large carrots peeled and chopped
11. ½ a lime
12. 1 handful of cilantro chopped coarsely

Step 1
Get that butternut roasting by preheating the oven to 400 degrees F, splitting it, drizzling it in olive oil, salt, pepper and stuffing each half wrapped in tinfoil and roast in oven for 30-40 minutes when you can pierce the squash meat easily with a fork.

Step 2
Wait a few, and then cook the other veggies while you wait on the butternut squash to roast. Heat the rest of the oil in a stockpot and sauté the onions until they become translucent (approx 10 min).  Toss in the carrots, scoop in the roasted squash and add the spices (coriander, paprika and turmeric), stirring occasionally as you cook another 10 minutes until the veggies take on a yellowish-orange like curry.

Step 3
Pour in the vegetable broth and bring it all to a roaring boil on high heat.  Turn the heat down low and simmer uncovered until the carrots easily break apart (approx 20 min).  Puree the ingredients.  Finally squeeze lime and cilantro over the soup, stir and serve up on a platter like the Mad Hatter.