Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Inhibitions can be a raging bitch.  They always seem to get in the way of a night of blissful mistakes.  It’s like that annoying friend of the one you’re sweet on intent on preventing you from vanishing to do what is best accomplished behind.  Troublesome as inhibitions may be, there’s a way to make them melt faster than a popsicle in a Bangkok sex show.  It’s so simple and obvious.  Disarm them with a delectable, easy to make like a BLT covered in melty cheese. Whether their fugly friend is literal or the metaphor for their unwillingness to throw their conservative values out the window, give them something fun, familiar, yet fantstic to indulge in and familiarity is sure to follow.  Familiarity = comfort that dissolves inhibitions and results in getting naked.  I’m glad we had this talk.  Now go out and melt melt MELT the shit out of those inhibitions!

Total time: approximately 8 minutes

Projected cost: $6

Drinking Buddy: RAGING HARD ON LEMONADE

Ingredients (for 2):

1. 2 slices sourdough bread

2. Mayonnaise (at your discretion)

3. 2 tbsp sun dried tomatoes

4. 1 tomato sliced thinly

5. 4 slabs bacon (piggie, turkey or veggie)

6. 2 handfuls lettuce coarsely chopped

7. 2 handfuls of mozzarella and/or cheddar cheese

Step 1

Fry the bacon until it’s crispy.  Spread mayonnaise and place sun dried tomato over the bread.  Lay out the bacon, lettuce and tomato across.

Step 2

Scatter cheese over the BLTs and broil in the oven or toaster oven until the cheese has melted and just starts to brown.

Serve up on a platter, cuz it don’t matter if shit starts to splatter.