The way I look at it, anyone foolish enough to turn me down for sex is only punishing themselves. They will spend the rest of their lives wondering “what if?” while hearing field reports from their friends and family members about how amazing lay I am in the kitchen and sack. No hard feelings on my end. It’s their loss. I (you) will bang plenty of strange over the course of my (your) cooking and banging career. Instead of kicking a can down the street in humiliation, I laugh off rejection and learn from my mistakes. Perhaps I was too pushy, not pushy enough, wasn’t wearing nice enough shoes, or perhaps my devastating good looks and devilish charm brought our their insecurities. Whatever the case may be, I adjust my approach as needed for the next date who understands how idiotic turning me down would be. The same rules apply with these squash I picked up from the farmer market along with a girl shopping for fresh berries. We combined our wares in more ways than one. Neither of lost because we seized the goddamn day!
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $3
Drinking Buddy: SAN-GRAB-YA SANGRIA
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tbsp olive oil
2. Salt to taste
3. Black pepper to taste
4. 1 petit pan squash
5. 2 summer squash
Split the squashes down the middle. Smother them with olive oil, salt and pepper and let them marinate (approx 15 min).
While the squash marinates, heat up the grill. Throw the squash on skin down, pouring the remaining marinade over and cover the grill. Once the skin blackens (approx 7 min), flip them over and cover the grill again and cook until the meaty side blackens and goes soft (approx 5 min). Serve up with your favorite GRILLED companions.