There are a lot of slutty fish out there. The puffer fish for one has been known to service just about anything aquatic with a pulse. But no fish is quite so whorish as the mahi mahi. Known to some as the dolphin fish, mahi mahi takes after their sex-crazed mammal namesake. Dolphins are known to attempt banging humans, but dolphin fish manage to pull it off and usually on camera for a couple of fish. I can imagine the Animal Planet viewers reading this believe I am making this up. To these naysayers I warn, “Enter the water at your own peril…or pleasure.” Getting molested by a large fish isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. First, you risk drowning long before you reach orgasm. Second, you can be sure the dolphin fish will never call you again. Don’t buy that it’s because fish don’t own phones. The bastard could certainly borrow a phone from a fisherman or something. But in spite of the slut factor of mahi mahi, they taste mighty fine. Mahi mahi doesn’t require much prep time so there’s no need to wait like you would for some tease to put out until date 3. Throw in some sautéed veggies, PAPAYA SALSA and avocado and your date will take on the trampy qualities so beloved in the Naughty Mahi.
Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $14
Drinking Buddy: White wine or SANGRIA
1. 1 teaspoon of salt
2. ½ teaspoon of black pepper
3. 1 red bell pepper cut into long thin strips
4. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
5. ½ a lime worth of juice
6. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
7. 1 onion cut into long thin strips
8. 2 6-8 ounce MAHI MAHI filets
9. 1 small piece of GINGER
10. 2 garlic cloves minced
11. ½ an AVOCADO sliced thinly
12. 2 tablespoons of WHO’S PAPAYA SALSA? (not pictured)
Peel the ginger, dice it finely and then add it to a mixing bowl with the garlic. Place the mahi mahi filets in the bowl and pour in limejuice, 1 tablespoon of olive oil, salt and black pepper. Mix it up and allow the marinade to absorb into the fish.
Heat up the remaining tablespoon of olive oil in a pan on medium heat. Sauté the onions and bell peppers strips (approx 3 minutes). Throw in the tomato and cook them until they soften and stew (approx 4 minutes). Serve up the veggies on plates as a bed.
Use the same pan you used to sauté the veggies to sauté the fish filets. Cook each side until they become white and brown a little. Serve them up on the veggie bed, and then crown each with a tablespoon of PAPAYA SALSA and slices of avocado.