This is a dish for the someone you really want to WOW into banging you. I hope he or she’s worth it because sushi grade ahi isn’t cheap, but is delicious, healthy and gives you extra UMPH where it counts. This is already a deal breaker meal. Add a little mango salsa on the side and you would get laid even if you were a retarded midget with cat AIDS.
1. 2 ½lb sushi grade ahi tuna steaks marinated in soy sauce, lime juice and chopped cilantro
2. 2 handfuls of pulverized raw macadamia nuts
3. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
4. 1/4 cup of ponzu sauce
5. 1 cup of Israeli couscous
Prepare Israeli couscous as directed on box: brown the couscous in olive oil then add boiling water (measurement 1 part couscous to 1 1/3 part water). Substitute so it’s 1 cup water & 1/3 cup ponzu sauce. Bring to boil and then simmer for about 12 minutes until liquid evaporates.
Use the moisture from the ahi’s marinade to help form a thin, even macadamia nut crust over the steaks.
Sear the ahi steaks in a pan or over a grill for a 1-1½ minutes on each side so the macadamia crust has browned along with edges of the fish, but it’s still a glorious red in the middle.
Cut thin strips from the macadamia crusted ahi steaksand serves artfully over the ponzu Israeli couscous.
COOK TO BANG HELPED ME WIN MY GIRLFRIEND BACK
So I’m admittedly kind of an insensitive douchebag. I get caught up doing my own thing, which drove my amazingly supportive girlfriend away. So I wanted to find a way to show I’m not always the shallow narcissist she says I am. A friend suggested cooking her a heartfelt meal (she always did the cooking and cleaning) so I googled seduction recipes and happened upon the MACKA-DADDY-A CRUSTED AHI WITH PONZU ISRAELI COUSCOUS. I used the key I never returned to get into her apartment and surprised her when she got home with a bona fide badass meal. She loved the food almost as much as she loved hearing “I love you”. We did bang all night, but that wasn’t the point. We’re still together and I am debating which COOK TO BANG meal to make when I pop the question.
Is this really important?…