2 1/2 years, 450+ recipes, and god knows how many hot girls out of my league later, the time has finally come. The COOK TO BANG BOOK is available for the masses. All my best recipes, techniques, and tomfoolery are gathered together in one banging book. Live it, learn it, love it, buy it. Thanks for all my readers’ support over the years. To reward you, here’s the final installment of the DOUCHE BAG VS. COOK TO BANG saga. The Cook To Bang Guy helps the douche bags realize they are in fact douche bags. Enjoy!
Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid
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- GETTING FIGGY WITH IT QUESADILLA
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- LAZADILLA
- LET THEM EAT SALMON CAKES
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- OH GOD, DON’T STOP! JALAPEÑO POPPERS
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- POTATO SKIN FLUTES ♫
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- RAW & RAUNCHY OYSTERS
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- TOFU SUMMER ROLLS IN THE HAY
- TOMATILLOS PARA MIS AMIGOS BENEFICIOS
- UNDRESS ME, CAPRESES
- WRAP & STUFF THAT SAUSAGE
- WRAP THAT ASS-PARAGUS
- WRAP YOUR PROSCIUTTO AROUND MY FIG
- YES WE CAN-TALOUPE!
- GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN
- BANGING SAFARI CALAMARI TACOS
- CHICKEN OUT YOUR (BEER) CANS
- CHILLIN’ GRILLIN’ ILLIN’ SALAD
- FABLED MAPLE SALMON
- GRILL BEN DOVER’S SOLE
- GRILLED SEXTARINES
- GRILLED THRILLS BROCCOLI
- GROIN GRABBING GRILLED VEGGIES
- IMPALE ‘EM WITH YOUR SWORDFISH
- LAST GASP OF SUMMER BBQ PINEAPPLE
- ME-NUDE-OH! SHRIMP
- RED WHITE AND BEETS
- SALMON GRILLS AND PASTA THRILLS
- SPANK MY HALIBUT
- THEIR LOSS GRILLED SQUASH
- TURN YOU OUT TURKEY BURGER
- HOT LIQUID LOVE
- 5 ORGASM ALARM VEGGIE CHILI
- BUST-A-NUT SQUASH SOUP
- BUTTER-MY-NUTS SQUASH SOUP
- CARNAL CARROT SOUP
- CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP FOR THE TAINTED SOUL
- FINE AS HELL BELL PEPPER SOUP
- FRENCH KISS MY ONION SOUP
- LEEK MY TATER SOUP
- LICK HER POT STICKER SOUP
- MUY MACHO PAPAYA GAZPACHO
- NEVER A BORSCHT IN THE SACK
- PIMPIN’ PUMPKIN SOUP
- ROASTED RED PEEPING TOM-ATO SOUP
- ROCKS OFF DETOX BROCCOLI SOUP
- SHROOM SHALAKLAK BOOM SOUP
- SMACK MY BISQUE UP
- TAP THAT ASS-PARAGUS SOUP
- VEGAN VIXEN SOUP
- VIAGRA-MELON SOUP
- WHORE-TILLA SOUP
- IT’S ON-TREES!
- BANGING FLURRY EGGPLANT CURRY
- BANGIN’ SOME CAJUNS SHRIMP
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- BE AMAZED GLAZED SCALLOPS
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- BEGGIN’ FOR BACON WRAPPED SCALLOPS
- BLACKENED HEART CATFISH
- CASHEW MONEY CHICKEN
- CHILE RELLENO RESISTANCE
- COCONUT COD-PIECE
- COSTA RICA CHICA CHICKEN
- DATEY CHICKEN CHA CHA
- DREAMY STEAMY FISH
- EGGPLANT NO PANTS
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- FISHY PINK TACOS
- FONDLE MY SAUSAGE & PINCH MY PEPPERS
- FREAKY FRIED CORN-FLAKY CHICKEN
- GET STUFFED & BUST-A-NUT SQUASH
- GET STUFFED EGGPLANT
- GO NUTS COCONUT CURRY
- GOT IT GOIN’ ON, CHICKEN PARMESAN
- HUGE PRIK KING
- IT’S ON! SZECHUAN EGGPLANT
- IT’S SO FIG! SHRIMP
- MACKA-DADDY-A CRUSTED AHI PONZU ISRAELI COUSCOUS
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- MISO HORNY COD
- MO’ LAYS CHICKEN MOLE
- NAUGHTY MAHI
- NEVER HURRY THEIR CURRY
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- PARTYCHOKE CHICKEN CHA CHA
- PIMP MY SHRIMP TACOS
- POKE YER PICCATA
- POONCHILADAS
- PORTOBELLO BORDELLO
- ROASTED CHICKEN RUB DOWN
- RUB MY RIB EYE STEAK
- RUB YOUR AVOCADO BUTT-ER ON MY GRILLED SALMON
- SALMON AND ON AND ON
- SENORITA LUPITA’S CACTUS FAJITAS
- SHRIMP SLAP THE PORTOBELL-HO
- SILLY WILLY CHILI CRAB
- SMACK THAT SEA BASS
- SO DAPPER RED SNAPPER
- SPAGHETTI SQUASH NUDEY NOODLES
- SQUASH KE-BANGS
- STIR-FRY UP SOME TOFU TROUBLE
- STUFFED PEPPER PARTY
- STUFFING POLENTY OF PEPPERS
- TAKE THAT COD TO BED
- TATER TILAPIA TILABIA
- THAI HAPPY ENDING MUSSELS
- TICKLE MY WALNUTS CHICKEN
- TOFU TACO TANGO
- TRAMPY SCAMPI
- WELL, HELLO! PORTOBELLO TACOS
- WILD & WETTY SQUASH SPAGHETTI
- YES YES Y’ALL! MONTREAL SHRIMP
- LEAFY & LOVELY
- SINFUL SALVATION SALAD
- A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS SALAD
- A HA! AHI SALAD
- ASS-SENTIAL SESAME ASS-PARAGUS
- ATKINS FOR TROUBLE BURGER SALAD
- BANGERINE SALAD
- BBW BBQ CHOP CHICKEN SALAD
- BEET YO-GURT-LE OFF SALAD
- BEET YOUR MEAT SALAD
- BIG PIMPIN’ BBQ SHRIMP SALAD
- BLOODY ORANGTASTIC SALAD
- BOAST THE MOST ASS-PARAGUS
- BROTHEL BROCCOLI BREAK
- CAPABLE MAPLE SQUASH
- CHARRED OCTOPUSSY SALAD
- CHEEKY CHINESE CHICKEN SALAD
- CHICKEN OUT YOUR ASS SALAD
- CHICKEN OUT YOUR PINEAPPLES SALAD
- COBB & BALLS SALAD
- CREAM IN YOUR PANTS SPINACH
- CREAM IN YOUR PATCHWORK PANTS SPINACH
- DON’T ARTICHOKE YOUR CHICKEN
- DON’T BE COY, BOK CHOY!
- FORBIDDEN FRUIT SALAD
- FORBIDDEN TANGO ROAST MANGO SALAD
- FRICTION CHICKEN SALAD
- FRUITAY BOOTAY SALAD
- GET A ROOM! HEIRLOOM TOMATO SALAD
- GET DOWN IN THE GROUND VEGGIE SALAD
- GETTIN’ YOUR GOAT CHEESE SALAD
- GETTING FREAKY FRIED CHICKEN SALAD
- GLAD TO MEETYA FAJITA SALAD
- GOING GREEK SALAD
- GRAB ASS GRAPEFRUIT SALAD
- I HAVE A WET DREAM COLLARD GREENS
- IN-SLUT-ADA CAPRESE
- INHALE MY KALE
- MAKE HEADS SPINACH SALAD
- MISO RAD & SHIT RADISHES
- NO ORGASM FAKIN’ BACON SALAD
- PANTY PLUNDER CUCUMBER SALAD
- PIMP THAT SHRIMPY ASS-PARAGUS SALAD
- POLENTA THOSE CLOTHES OFF SALAD
- RANDY CANDIED CARROTS
- ROAST THE CHOKE, BLOKES!
- ROASTED TITS & ASS-PARAGUS
- ROCK-HER-WORLD ROQUEFORT SALAD
- ROUND 2 SALMON SALAD
- SALADACIOUSLY SALIVATING SALAD
- SESAME = SEX TO ME BOY CHOY
- SHAKE YOUR POM POMEGRANATE SALAD
- SKEEZER SALAD
- SO EASY FRISEE SALAD
- SPAGHETTI SQUASHER SHOCKER SALAD
- SQUASHTACULAR
- SQUISHY SQUASHY CASSEROLE
- STEAM ‘TIL YOU SCREAM YELLOW BEETS
- STIFFLY STUFFED AVOCADOS
- THEY HOST YOU ROAST HEIRLOOM SALAD
- TIT AND CABOODLE NOODLE SALAD
- UP THE STEAKS SALAD
- WANNA HAVANA? SALAD
- WHATEVER WAS IN THE FRIDGE SALAD
- WINTER VEGGIE STIR-FRY ORGY
- LIBATION LUBRICATION
- BANGARITA
- BANGSGIVING BEVVY
- BLOOD ORANGASMIC MARTINI
- BUNNY RANCH WATER
- CHASING GINGER TAIL
- GET MORGINA
- GINGERBANGER TEA
- GRINDHOUSE GREYHOUND
- HALLOWEEN SUCK-HER PUNCH
- HOTTIE TODDY
- I FEEL YA TEQUILA
- KINKY PINKY LADY
- LECHEROUS LEPRECHAUN
- LICK YOUR LIPS MINT JULEP
- MAIL ORDER WHITE RUSSIAN BRIDE
- MELLOW JELL-O MAKES’EM BELLOW
- MIMOSUCK IT
- MO MOJO MOJITO
- NAUGHTY EGGNOG
- NOT-SO-TEENY WEENY BELLINI
- OH BOY!-STER SHOOT-HERS
- PANTY DROPPING SHANDY
- POMMELONTINI BIKINI
- RAGING HARD ON LEMONADE
- ROE-V-WADE-LICIOUS
- SAN-GRAB-YA SANGRIA
- SLUTTY TEMPLE
- SMOKING HOT PEPPERMINT FATTY
- SMOOTHEE OPERATOR
- TEQUILA TEMPTATION SUNRISE
- VIA BANGRIA
- VIAGRA ON ICE
- WET DREAMYTINI
- MORNING WOOD
- LOX BREAKFAST BRAIN SCRAMBLE
- APHRODISIAC BOOTY BOMB SCRAMBLE
- APHRODISIADDICTS BREAKFAST
- BANGNANA PANCAKES
- BED & BREAKFAST POTATOES
- BREAK THE BED FRAME SINWICH
- BREAK YOU OFF SOMETHING BURRITO
- BREAKFAST SALAD SINWICH REMIX
- BUTTER MY CINNAMON TOAST
- CHARD ON EGGS
- DON’T BRIE RAMBLIN’ WHILE SHROOM SCRAMBLIN’
- DOUBLE E-CUP MORNINGS
- EGG MCBANGIN’
- EGG MCHIPPIE
- EGGS BEG-A-DICK
- EGGS WHORENTINE
- ELVIS LIVES (TO BANG) SMOOTHEE
- FRENCH TICKLER TOAST
- FRENCHING YOUR ENGLISH MUFFIN
- HARDCORE SOFT-BOILED EGGS
- JAWFUL OF BLUEBERRY WAFFLES
- JUEVOS GRANDE RANCHEROS
- LEFTOVER SCHMEFTOVER EGGY WEGGYS
- LOX IT DOWN BAGEL
- MANGOES & BANGOES SOME CHICKEN’S SCRAMBLER
- MR. MORNING MAGIC HOUR
- NEVER FAIL KALE BREAKFAST
- O-FACED OATMEAL
- OOH LE LE BREAKFAST
- PARFAIT FOREPLAY
- PITY PARTY PITA BREAKFAST
- POMEGRATIFY YOUR MORNING DESIRES
- POONCAKES
- REVERSE COWGIRL EGGS
- SANTA’S REVENGE FRENCH TOAST
- SCREW YOUR BRAINS OUT SCRAMBLE
- SEX CRAZY MOFO TOFU SCRAMBLE
- SHAKE YOUR FRIT-TATAS!
- SMOKE SOME CHICKEN HASH
- SMOOTHEE OPERATOR
- SWEET ASS-BROWNS
- TANGY BANGY SHRIMP SCRAMBLE
- THIS LITTLE FIGGY EGGS
- TIL THE BREAK OF DAWN-LET
- TURKEY TURNKEY SEXFAST SINWICH
- WHY ASK WHY? FRY BREAKFAST
- SINWICHES
- ANOTHER CHICK(EN) IN THE BAG(UETTE)
- BABY’S GOT B.A.P.T. (Bacon Avocado Pear Tomato)
- BANG YO CHICKEN MANGO SINWICH
- BBLT – BIG BEAUTIFUL LADY TAMER SINWICH
- BLT MELT AWAY INHIBITIONS
- CAN YOU FIG IT? SINWICH
- CAPRESE ‘EM AGAINST THE MATTRESS
- DANK ORGANIC VEGGIE BURRITOS
- EAT-A MY PITA SINWICH
- FINGER LICKIN’ ASS KICKIN’ CHICKEN LETTUCE WRAPS
- FLIRTY TURKEY BRIE SINWICH
- GIVE THANKS TO DADDY SINWICH
- GRATUITOUS GRILLED CHEESE SINWICH
- HOT LIKE A CHEETAH FAJITA SINWICH
- KIWI MELT IN YOUR MOUTH
- OMFG PB&J!
- PESTO CHANGE-OH NO CLOTHES-OH! SINWICH
- QUICKIE FISHY SINWICH
- SAUSAGE PARTY SINWICH
- SEXIER THAN DEAD ELVIS SINWICH
- SHROOM SHAKE THE ROOM BURGER
- SLOPPY SECONDS JOE
- SMELLS LIKE TUNA BURGERS
- SOCK-IT-TO-ME SALMON SINWICH
- SOLDIER BOY SINWICH
- SUCK-ULENT SUSHI SINWICH
- TOSS YOUR SALAD WRAP
- TRUFFLE SHUFFLE GRILLED CHEESE
- TUNA MELT INTO THE SHEETS
- VESTAL VIRGIN VEGGIE MELT
- WRAP THAT HIPPIE BURGER UP TIGHT
- YOU’RE THE BOMB-AY SINWICH
- SWEET TEMPTATIONS
- ANTS ON MY LOG
- BALLS-ON-IT BALSAMIC STRAWBERRIES
- BANANA-RAM-YA MILKSHAKE
- BANG ‘TIL YOU’RE BLUE-A KAHLUA BROWNIES
- BANG YO ROASTED MANGO
- BANGAROONS
- BANGO THAT GINGER PORNSICLE
- BLONDIE BONDAGE SUNDAE
- BOOMBASTIC BLUEBERRY CRISP
- DOUBLE DIP THE TIP IN CHOCOLATE
- DOWN WITH BROWNIE SUNDAE
- GOODNESS GRACIOUS GRANDMA! COOKIES
- HOT DATE SHAKE
- HOT DUMB BLONDIES
- HUMPIN’ & PUMPKIN PIE
- I SCREAM YOU SCREAM SINWICH
- KISS MY PEANUT BUTTER TITTIES
- LECHEROUS LEMON BARS
- LET’S BANG S’MORE
- MOUTH DOWN SOUTHIE SURPRISE
- MY HONEY BAKES MY APPLES SPICY
- NO BLUE-BALL-BERRY KRISPIE SWEETS
- NYC BAR S’MORE PARTY
- PANTYLESS POACHED PEARS
- PINCH YOUR ASS-BERRY BROWNIES
- POP THEIR CHERRY JUBILEE
- PORN-FLAKE FRISKEES
- RAM THAT GRAHAM
- RICE PUDDING POONTANG
- RUB MY BUTTERCUPS
- SEE ME PLEASE ME FEED ME KIWIS
- SLOB ON MY KNOBBLER COBBLER
- STROKE MY BANANAS FOSTER
- STUFF YOUR CHOCOLATE BANANA
- SUGAR DADDY COOKIES
- TAWDRY TART TARTIN
- THIN MINT FATTIES
- VIAGRA-MELON PORNSICLES
- WAFFLE PARTY USA
- CARBOLUSCIOUS
- SEDUCTION
- WHY CTB
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Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 