Slap some sugar, lemon, balsamic, then put them balls on it!
DESSERT is the time when a Cook usually turns into Bang. Many final courses like cheesecake that take over a day to make, like a slow, patient seduction. There is nothing wrong with taking your time to holler at the moon so long as you do in fact holler. But we live in a culture that wants everything yesterday. In fairness to the instant gratification crowd, here’s an instant dessert that is healthy, tasty, and quick on the go. Do not fear the balsamic vinegar for it is your friend. The fusion of the powdered sugar, fructose from the berries and the vinegar is like some mystical alchemy that preps your tongue ready for more adventuresome travels. Be sure to hand-feed these to your date, thus fostering the intimacy you will no doubt exploit for your own perverted gains. I have made this outstanding standout for more dates than I can remember and not once have I been refused. Won’t you join our merry band of culinary pranksters?
Total time: approximately 2 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Champagne of course
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tablespoons of powdered sugar
2. 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar
3. 1 package of fresh strawberries
4. ½ a lemon worth of juice
Step 1
Cut the strawberries into thin slices, removing the stems. Squeeze the lemon juice over the strawberries followed by the balsamic vinegar and the powdered sugar. Serve this simple satisfaction on a platter and feed them to your lover(s).
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 
When I think of cheap and hasty sensual seduction, I’m always reminded of the Married with Children episode where Al Bundy catches his son, Bud, serving a girl a “Bundy Mimosa”: Girl Girl Beer and orange-flavored Tang. After reading this article, I think Bud would have better luck with your “BALLS-ON-IT BALSAMIC STRAWBERRIES” recipe instead. I had the pleasure of tasting a 25 year old Balsamic Vinegar that was as like a fine Port wine at the Fancy Food Show in San Francisco, along with some great chocolate treats that would go great with this recipe. Thanks for a great post.