Grass, Ass, or Cash-ews

Cash money makes our world go around. It’s the international language of “fuck you, I’m rich!” Here at Cook To Bang we like commerce as much as the next perverted food blog. But the whole spirit of CTB comes from the desire to take money out of the dating equation. Food is the great equalizer. Everyone needs to eat. Almost everyone wants to bang. You don’t have to bang your lover on 1000 gold thread count sheets. A sleeping bag over a La-Z-Boy could be just as much fun and certainly more of an athletic feat. Everyone wins when you Cook To Bang. And this CTB take on a classic Chinese dish will win you much props and improper propositions.

Total time: Approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking buddy: Chinese beer like Tsingtao

Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 1 tsp sesame oil
2. 1 tbsp oyster sauce
3. 1 tbsp soy sauce
4. 1 tsp HONEY
5. 1 tbsp vegetable oil
6. 1/2 tsp cornstarch
7. 1 handful mushrooms sliced thinly
8. 1/2 onion chopped coarsely
9. 1 handful cashews
10. 1 tbsp GINGER finely diced
11. 3 green onions chopped coarsely
12. 2 chicken breasts

Step 1
Mix up the ginger, soy sauce, sesame oil, oyster sauce, and cornstarch in a bowl. Cut the chicken into cubes, smother in the marinade, and allow the flavor to kick in (approx 15-30 min).

Step 2
While the chicken marinates, bring a small pot of water to a boil. Throw in the cashews and boil until they are soft (approx 5 min). Drain and set aside.

Step 3
On medium heat pour vegetable oil in a pan and add the chicken. Cook through (approx 4 min), flipping as necessary and set meat aside.

Step 4
Use the remaining marinade in pan and mixing bowl. Throw the onions and mushrooms in. Cook until the onions get translucent and mushrooms go soft as a Eunuch at a strip club (approx 3 min). Add the cooked chicken, cashews, and 2/3 of the green onions. Heat through (approx 1 min).

Serve up with some tasty RICE, garnishing the remaining green onions.

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