Fast cars! Exploding building! Gratuitous sex! Sounds like my kind of movie. But this ain’t a movie. This is real life. One guzzle of a fresh-squeezed greyhound and your life may become a grindhouse movie. I know what you’re thinking: “How can my life turn into some Tarantino fantasy?” Simple. In the blink of an eye. After your first gulp, you will find that your hunch about your neighbor harvesting cyborg alien eggs is totally correct. By your second drink, that Toyota you drive will transform into a muscle car with machine gun turrets. By the time you finish your tasty beverage, you and the hottest piece of ass shall be scantily clad firing bazookas at zombie Jehovah’s Witnesses. The only comfort in all the chaos is to seek carnal comforts with one another as the world comes to an end. Another greyhound?
Total time: 10 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Eating buddy: ORAL TATER-SPLOSIONS
Ingredients (per drink)
1. 2 shots vodka
2. 1 1/2 grapefruits
Fill up each glass with ice and pour in your vodka. Fresh squeeze the grapefruits and fill glasses to the brim. Stir and serve. Lock and load.