PORTOBELLO BORDELLO

Turn any date into filthy hooker

Some food has the power to transform a good day into a great day. We’ve all experienced a meal so freaking amazing that we talk about it years, sometimes decades later. Don’t get me started on this penne eggplant bowl I enjoyed on Italy’s Amalfi Coast. Let’s just say I had to smoke cigarette after…and I don’t even smoke! But there are certain dishes that are not only memorable, but cause clothes to melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West. Whore. The Portobello Bordello is one of those dishes. It is not only loaded with APHRODISIACS, but an edible orgasm of flavor, texture and attitude. Be warned: those with heart problems may not be able to handle this mushroom dish’s pure unadulterated awesomeness. The rest of you should not fear stuffing the mushroom. Odds are there will be some serious stuffing to follow.

Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $16
Drinking Buddy: White wine or champagne

stuffed-portobello-prepIngredients:
1. 1 tablespoon of mayonnaise
2. ½ tablespoon of honey
3. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
4. ½ teaspoon of salt
5. ½ teaspoon of paprika
6. 1/3 cup of bread crumbs
7. 1 green onion chopped coarsely
8. ½ red bell pepper chopped coarsely
9. 6 ounces of lump crab meat
10. ½ a jalapeño chopped finely
11. 1 small handful of shredded Parmesan
12. ½ a lemon worth of juice
13. 2 large Portobello mushroom caps
14. 4 avocado slices (not pictured)

Step 1
Create the stuffing by mixing up the green onions, red bell pepper, lemon juice, jalapeño, crab meat, parmesan, bread crumbs, mayonnaise, honey, salt and paprika in a large mixing bowl.

stuffed-portobello-stuffing

Step 2
Wash the Portobello mushrooms then scrape away the black gills with a spoon and cut out the stem. This will allow more room for stuffing. Pour olive oil over the mushroom tops, then flip them over and place them in a small baking pan. Pour in half the stuffing into each cap and spread out evenly.

stuffed-portobello-prebake

Step 3
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Throw in the baking pan full of stuffed mushrooms into the oven and bake until the stuffing browns (approx 35-40 minutes). Serve it up on top of a large leaf of lettuce. Garnish each cap with 2 avocado slices and serve it up knowing full well IT’S ON!

stuffed-portobello-bakestuffed-portobello-served-2

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

4 Responses to PORTOBELLO BORDELLO

  1. Rachel Rayne says:

    Looks delicious!
    I think this blog is pretty amazing. Great date ideas. I’ve been following this for a while and laughing my ass off. I thought it was a good time to tell you how awesome you are.

  2. Sam Honchul says:

    Unbelievable yet Alaska’s own delegates lately launched any expenses throughout The legislature that would exempt two of their many loved nationwide forests through protection from logging as well as road-building. The particular jungles not simply offer habitat pertaining to fauna such as grizzly contains, hairless silver eagles, and grey wolves, they’re crucial for your local sportfishing and also travel and leisure industries.

  3. A special-tasting syrup that can help you lose weight?

    Looks almost too-good to be true…

    But this is often what they’re saying about Yacon syrup, which recently
    became common like a weight loss aid.

    As opposed to most weight loss products, it will possess some real individual research to back up
    the statements.

    This informative article takes an objective examine Yacon syrup and
    the studies behind it.

    It seems as though everywhere you look you’ll find advertising for grains and new supplements that produce grandiose promises of weight loss.

    In a perfect world, all of these goods would operate and dropping weight would be miraculously uncomplicated.
    However, we realize that most of these products basically don’t operate and are merely marketing vacant claims towards the people.
    However now there’s about that may be unlike the remainder a fresh
    product people are buzzing; an all natural foodstuff
    termed Yacon Syrup is actually a game-changer for anyone trying to decrease weight
    and live healthy. Word started initially to spread about that normal therapy when it
    was featured by Dr. Oz on his show. They also done some investigation around the syrup and the outcomes were
    astounding! Take a look:

    14 girls lost more than 5 pounds

    If you are reading this and attempted syrup from
    the different organization and didn’t like
    it, next you have to try this one, I used to be
    impressed that 2 different brand of a similar thing may be so
    different in flavor. This products is just awesome. I just got my next package today so I’m gonna make sure to update
    this assessment inside a week and enable you to all know the outcome of having received it for
    a whole week.

    The other brand sent 2 unopened containers of the other brand back and
    mentioned above was purchased by me, when I purchased this.
    I made a decision to attempt and utilize the additional manufacturer while I
    was looking forward to more with this one! we didn’t shed anything and the appetite-suppressant of the poor model was
    nonexistent. I’d been expecting to at the very least knowledge appetite-suppressant and only
    a little in inches but nothing within the course
    of some times while this company had extraordinary results in 2!

    The other day we obtained my first package and it
    lasted just three days, with everybody in my own family using it.
    However In these 3 days I lost 2 inches and 2 pounds.

    Actually it was 2 days that it was dropped by
    me. Calculated in a number of areas and lost Half in middle, half in hips, and one other
    was hands and thighs.

    Normal decrease in waist circumference was 1.9 inches

    The drinks from the sources are produced, then filtered
    and evaporated in a compound-free manufacturing
    process that resembles the way in which Walnut syrup is
    made. A very normal procedure (two).

    The ultimate solution is actually a special-tasting syrup, with a darker coloration and a consistency just like molasses.

    Yacon syrup recently became popular after it was included by Dr.

    Mehmet Oz, a famous TV doctor in the United States. He seemed really worked up about it and named
    it a “metabolism game changer”. You can watch the
    show for-free here.

    DOCTOR OUNCE PERMITTED NATURAL SAFE & -The 100% Pure,
    Organic Yacon Root Extract may be the safe yacon syrup sweetener nutrition facts (wordpress.com), healthy, and delicious option to glucose!
    Prevent junk food or hazardous synthetic sweeteners,
    get slimmer and healthier WITHOUT hungry your sweet-tooth!

    Yacon, a South American origin that has been part of the Andean diet for centuries,
    could be the next big factor to promote healthier weight loss.
    Not simply does it have the potential to dramatically cut waistlines, it also appears to obviously support excellent digestion and determine blood
    sugar – most without supplements or pillsyacon syrup review.
    The workforce in The Dr. Ounce Exhibit asked several people enthusiastic about weight loss to use
    you will not and yacon syrup for 28 times – want to miss out the
    thrilling effects.

    100% PURE DIABETIC FRIENDLY FORMULATION -Our unrivaled 67% FOS gives greatest health advantages.
    Remain total longer, be typical, and feel self-confident in our professional syrup arriving from the “Mecca”, immediately from
    the Historic Tuber Yacon within the fields of Peru!

    SUPERCHARGED FIBRE & PROBIOTICS MIXTURE REGARDING MAXIMUM HEALTH ADVANTAGES!

    -you may not look for a Yacon Syrup using greater health advantages
    elsewhere online. Address you to ultimately an item which actually WORKS!
    Our Yacon Syrup can be your admission to a whole new you!

  4. yacon sirup says:

    Refined sugar, white or brown, literally has zero nutritional value
    – no minerals, no vitamins, no fiber, no enzymes, no fats – nothing of value for the body.
    As a result, obesity is on the rise, and our bodies ability to fight
    diseases and ailments have become slowed and impaired.

    But in the 1500s manufacturers began refining sugar cane so that
    it could be more easily transported overseas, especially
    back to Europe.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: