Some food has the power to transform a good day into a great day. We’ve all experienced a meal so freaking amazing that we talk about it years, sometimes decades later. Don’t get me started on this penne eggplant bowl I enjoyed on Italy’s Amalfi Coast. Let’s just say I had to smoke cigarette after…and I don’t even smoke! But there are certain dishes that are not only memorable, but cause clothes to melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West. Whore. The Portobello Bordello is one of those dishes. It is not only loaded with APHRODISIACS, but an edible orgasm of flavor, texture and attitude. Be warned: those with heart problems may not be able to handle this mushroom dish’s pure unadulterated awesomeness. The rest of you should not fear stuffing the mushroom. Odds are there will be some serious stuffing to follow.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $16
Drinking Buddy: White wine or champagne
Ingredients:
1. 1 tablespoon of mayonnaise
2. ½ tablespoon of honey
3. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
4. ½ teaspoon of salt
5. ½ teaspoon of paprika
6. 1/3 cup of bread crumbs
7. 1 green onion chopped coarsely
8. ½ red bell pepper chopped coarsely
9. 6 ounces of lump crab meat
10. ½ a jalapeño chopped finely
11. 1 small handful of shredded Parmesan
12. ½ a lemon worth of juice
13. 2 large Portobello mushroom caps
14. 4 avocado slices (not pictured)
Step 1
Create the stuffing by mixing up the green onions, red bell pepper, lemon juice, jalapeño, crab meat, parmesan, bread crumbs, mayonnaise, honey, salt and paprika in a large mixing bowl.
Step 2
Wash the Portobello mushrooms then scrape away the black gills with a spoon and cut out the stem. This will allow more room for stuffing. Pour olive oil over the mushroom tops, then flip them over and place them in a small baking pan. Pour in half the stuffing into each cap and spread out evenly.
Step 3
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Throw in the baking pan full of stuffed mushrooms into the oven and bake until the stuffing browns (approx 35-40 minutes). Serve it up on top of a large leaf of lettuce. Garnish each cap with 2 avocado slices and serve it up knowing full well IT’S ON!
Looks delicious!
I think this blog is pretty amazing. Great date ideas. I’ve been following this for a while and laughing my ass off. I thought it was a good time to tell you how awesome you are.
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Looks almost too-good to be true…
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14 girls lost more than 5 pounds
If you are reading this and attempted syrup from
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The other brand sent 2 unopened containers of the other brand back and
mentioned above was purchased by me, when I purchased this.
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The other day we obtained my first package and it
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Normal decrease in waist circumference was 1.9 inches
The drinks from the sources are produced, then filtered
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The ultimate solution is actually a special-tasting syrup, with a darker coloration and a consistency just like molasses.
Yacon syrup recently became popular after it was included by Dr.
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Refined sugar, white or brown, literally has zero nutritional value
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As a result, obesity is on the rise, and our bodies ability to fight
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But in the 1500s manufacturers began refining sugar cane so that
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OMG I was wracking my brain as to how I was going to bring the phallus out in my portobello mushrooms for a VIT (tryst) coming up this weeked, why very important? Hopefully the first of many. Then I found you, this recipe is PERFECT and has already got me cre….well, you get it.