Naughty nursery rhyme time!

This little figgy went to the market (to buy ingredients and condoms)
This little figgy stayed home (and Cooked to Bang)
This little figgy had roast beef (curtains)
This little figgy had none (because he was cooking for a vegan)
And this little figgy went “Wee! Wee! Wee!” all the way home (bragging about the latest CTB conquest).

Total time: Approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking buddy: MIMOSUCK IT

Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 1 tsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. 1 dash sea salt
3. 1/2 AVOCADO sliced thinly
4. 3 eggs
5. 1 handful FIGS sliced thinly
6. 1 green onion chopped coarsely
7. 1 sausage (piggy of poultry) sliced thinly

Step 1
Crack the eggs in a bowl. Combine with the green onions and sea salt. Beat like Rocky did the Russian.

Step 2
Add the olive oil to a small pan cooking on medium heat. Throw in the sausage slices and sizzle sizzle sizzle. Toss in the figs and flip over the sausage slices when they brown (approx 2 min). Once the flipped side of sausage browns (approx 2 min), pour in the eggs, and immediately cover. Cook without scrambling until the eggs cook through (approx 4 min). Halve the egg dish, serve on plates, and garnish with avocado.

Serve the egg-cellent meal up with some SIMPLY SEXY SALSA and/or GUAPO GRINGO GUACAMOLE.

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