You are the pimp and your date is your whore-tilla
Are you cursed with dating prudes who just don’t put out? This is not unlike slamming your finger in a car door, but it’s your self-esteem that cries out in pain. Your first problem is that you shouldn’t try to pick up prospective dates at a Jonas Brothers concert. And even if you are a sucker who thinks meeting a nice girl or boy is the way to go, Cook To Bang like a champ and you will make that purity rings land perfectly in the trash with nothing but net. I have faith that you can turn the rosy-cheeked innocent into your sex slave with the right approach. That’s why I developed this hearty tortilla soup for you. It’s quite healthy, has an APHRODISIAC double threat, and seems wholesome at first glance. That is exactly how you should operate. Get in under the radar and then turn your date out. Turn that nun or choirboy into your own personal whore. Now hear yourself ROAR!
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $12
Drinking Buddy: Beer, margarita or red wine
Ingredients (serves 4):
1. 1 teaspoon of salt
2. 2 cans of chicken broth
3. 3 tablespoons of olive oil
4. 1 can of diced tomatoes
5. 1 onion chopped coarsely
6. ½ a lime worth of juice cut into slices
7. 1 handful of Mexican blend cheese
8. 4 medium-sized tortillas
9. 1 large Anaheim CHILI
10. 2 handfuls of cilantro
11. ½ an AVOCADO sliced thinly
12. 3 garlic cloves diced finely
13. 1 pound of chicken breasts
Step 1
Bring a small pot of water to a boil. Toss in the chicken breasts in and boil until they become white (approx 3 minutes). Drain the water and allow chicken to cool. Pull the chicken apart in small strips and set aside.
Step 2
Preheat the oven to 200 degrees F. Bake the tortillas so they dehydrate (approx 10 minutes). Slice the tortillas in half, and then cut off strips. Warm up 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a large pan over medium heat and toss in the tortilla strips. Stir and fry until the tortilla strips are browned and crispy (approx 2 minutes) and flip. Once the other side has browned, set them aside on a plate with a paper towel set down to soak up the excess oil.
Step 3
Add the remaining oil to the same pan. Cook the onions until they become translucent (approx 2 minutes). Follow the onions up with the diced chilies, 2/3 of the cilantro, and the garlic and cook them through (approx 3 minutes). Follow up with the can of tomatoes and salt and cook down the tomatoes (approx 3 minutes). Finally add the chicken broth, bring to a boil on high heat, and then cover and simmer on low heat until all the goodies soften up (approx 10-15 minutes).
Step 4
Remove the lid and puree the soup to smithereens. Toss in the chicken and ½ the tortilla strips and heat through (approx 3 minutes). Ladle up the soup into bowls and then add a small handful of cilantro, cheese, avocado, lime juice and place the tortilla strips around it artfully.
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 