Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Blue 42, blue 42, hut hut bang!

Welcome to Part II of the 2010 CTB Super Bowl recipe throw down. For the uninitiated or those lacking cognitive reasoning, jambalaya is a dish native to Louisiana, New Orleans in particular. Therefore this dish is dedicated to the New Orleans Saints. My life is too consumed with cooking and banging to pay much attention to football stats. The Saints or the Colts could triumph and it wouldn’t make any difference so long as I have someone warm and cuddly in my bed that night. But in terms of the Food Bowl, New Orleans crushes Indianapolis hands down. The cuisine down South is like a wet dream jumping right off my plate and down my pantaloons. It might be the French influence, it might be the innovations of American ancestors, it might be that I am totally gay for spicy food. I wager all three. But you will turn a few heads with this dish that feeds the hungry, unwashed masses. So whomever you’re cheering for, you will leave a winner with phone numbers and possibly a football-loving hottie on your arm.

Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $12
Drinking Buddy: Beer, beer, and more beer!

Ingredients (Serves a pack of party people):
1. 2 cups long grain white rice
2. 4 cups chicken stock
3. 2 tbsp olive oil
4. 1 tsp Cajun seasoning
5. 3 OZ can tomato paste
6. 2 dashes black pepper
7. 2 dashes salt
8. 1 onion chopped coarsely
9. 2 bell peppers chopped in strips
10. 4 tomatoes chopped coarsely
11. 1 lb chicken cut in bite-sized pieces
12. 3 Andouille sausages (poultry sausage works)
13. 1/2 lemon
14. 4 garlic cloves chopped finely

Step 1
Marinate the chicken with lemon, salt, and black pepper (approx 10 min). Warm up 1 tbsp of olive oil on medium heat and brown the chicken, cooking it through and set it aside. Brown the sausages on both sides and set aside.

Step 2
Heat up the remaining olive oil in a stockpot to sauté the garlic until it goes white (approx 30 sec). Toss in the onions and bell peppers, salt and pepper them, and cook until they’re as translucent as a gold-digging skeeze-bag (approx 5 min).

Step 3
Mix the tomato paste in and cook until it browns and starts to cake to the pot (approx 3 min). Pour in 1 can of chicken stock, using the liquid to scrape the caked tomato paste off the side of the stockpot, and bring to a boil (approx 4 min). Add the tomatoes, Cajun seasoning, pre-browned chicken and sausage, and the chicken stock. Bring it to a roaring boil on high heat.

Step 4
Add the rice to the boiling stockpot of goodness. Turn the heat down low, cover with a lid, and simmer, stirring occasionally until the rice absorbs all the liquid (approx 25 min).

Jambalaya is the perfect side for most Southern ENTREES. But if I had to choose my favorite, serve with BANGIN’ SOME CAJUNS SHRIMP and a LECHEROUS LEMON BAR.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 25th, 2015 at 10:30 am and is filed under Cajun, carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, poultry, RECIPES, southern, spicy, sports, Super bowl. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.